Where Dreams Have No End
by Mustang Madness
Summary: David thinks he's invincible but what if he's not? Takes place around the time Anna leaves for the Caribbean to divorce him, late 2002. Anna/David, Leo/Greenlee, Robin Scorpio-GH , Maggie, Trey, & Aidan. Please R&R if you like!
1. Chapter 1

_Where Dreams Have No End_

_December 23rd, 2002 Paris France_

With an exhausted sigh she pushed the silver key into the door, hearing the lock click in her hands as it squeaked open. The warmth of the apartment penetrated her face as she made her way into the foyer, a welcome relief from the bitter cold of the streets below.

"Robin?" She half called out, kicking her shoes off, setting her purse down along the floor by the door. " I'm home Luv…"

She waited, not really expecting to hear her daughter's voice, since most of the lights in the flat were off. Anna half remembered something about a Christmas party running late for all the med students in her class. After peaking around a corner, she smirked, grateful for the time alone, to at least wrap the last remaining presents she had just bought before her daughter came home.

"Looks like it's just you and me tonight little one." She murmured, softly placing a hand to her ever expanding belly. A twinge of sadness came with the thought but she pushed it aside, setting the bag of items in her other hand down on the small counter of the equally small kitchen in the apartment both Robin and her were sharing. For a single person the space suited Robin, it was cozy and comfortable, books and CDs lining large shelves by the stone fireplace on the other side of the room.

Anna knew, sooner rather than later she would have to find a place of her own, if not for her and the baby's sake, then for Robin's sanity. While she knew her daughter would never turn her away it wasn't fair of her to use her home as a place of refuge. Still, it was nice waking up in the mornings together, catching each other for lunch at the café down the street, and spending these last few weeks with one another as Christmas rapidly was drawing nearer.

::After the New Year.:: She thought as if making up her mind, setting the teakettle down along the stove. ::You'll find a place of your own after the holidays.::

_Pine Valley_

He wrapped the scarf around him haphazardly, checking the hour as he walked through the snow to his car.

3:00 AM.

He shook his head. It had only been hours ago he had told himself he would leave earlier but tonight, with the weather being what it was, the clinic was busier than usual.

He zipped up his black leather jacket, shivering as it wasn't nearly thick enough to withstand the temperature outside. He got into his car, throwing the clipboard of his community service hours down on the seat next to him.

::60 hours down.:: He thought bitterly. ::Only 440 more to go.:: He shook his head. ::If only I had never met Maria Grey.::

He put the car in reverse, hearing the tires crunch with snow beneath them as he drove the familiar way back towards the mountain. He cursed himself, realizing now he forgot to pick up Maggie's gift today, promising himself he would get it tomorrow, hoping he still could, considering it was Christmas Eve.

David tried to ignore the pounding headache he had as he drove, turning the knob on the radio, bypassing every Christmas song he heard. In the end he turned it off completely, the silence in the car both stifling and soothing at the same time.

_Paris, France_

She smiled as she heard the music break through from the other side of the wall, her neighbor's apartment. A French Christmas song flowed through the living room and she walked towards the stereo, finding the same station, deciding to play it herself.

Anna set the remaining presents she had bought, now wrapped, down under the Christmas tree for Robin, admiring the pile that was already there in an assortment of colors. She smirked at a small yellow one for _Little Devane_, wondering now what Robin had gotten the baby for Christmas. With a sigh she looked up, noticing the gentle snowfall outside the patio doors of the small balcony.

With a hot cup of Earl Grey in her hands she watched it fall, getting lost in the swirl of sliver and white that now lined Paris in the glow of night. She had to admit, as far as locations were concerned, Robin had picked a beautiful neighborhood of Paris to live in. She watched as a couple walked past from across the street, both of them carrying multiple bags in each hand. She half wondered where they were going, if they had plans that night or where they had been. The sight while comforting, made her feel incredibly alone, a feeling she had been avoiding at all costs since arriving in Paris almost four months ago. It was amazing how so much could change in just a few short months.

Anna's first few days in Paris came to her in a blur of memory. She had left Pine Valley with a suitcase in one hand and signed divorce papers in the other.

She fought back tears the entire flight, trying to forget his face and the fact that she was leaving him, and ultimately any chance they had at being a family. Despite Leo's pleas for her stay and try to make things work with his brother, she knew she had herself and her child to think of. In truth, a part of her was tempted but she couldn't ignore what he had done. How he had kept a woman, a mother of two, away from her family for five long years. The reality of it all stung deeply, given her own past, and through it all he had lied about it, covered it up, and tried to pretend like it didn't happen.

He might have been able to pretend but she couldn't. Even if she was pregnant with his child.

So with a resignation letter on her desk for Jackson she left for the airport, but had not expected an ambush from David and his brother. They had made a good effort but she was determined to start a new life. To protect her child at all costs.

That was the last time she had ever seen him.

_Pine Valley_

He poured himself a generous helping of scotch, the mail in his other hand as he half collapsed on the leather couch with exhaustion. Still in his scrubs he flipped through the envelopes on his lap, sifting through bills and junk mail, coming across an orange envelop towards the end of the pile. What caught his attention was the size and the familiar handwriting. He opened it slowly.

David closed his eyes briefly, pulling out the tip of the blue lining, instantly realizing what it was.

Divorce papers.

They had been filed overseas he could tell by the date, yet there was no return address on the envelop. He half suspected she was in Paris with Robin but couldn't be sure.

She had finally done it though. Anna had the papers filed and now it was official. They were no longer husband and wife. He felt the sick feeling in his stomach grow, his head pounding harder at the added stress of what the documents meant.

He threw them down on the coffee table in frustration, downing the rest of the scotch in one swallow. He turned towards the window, the snow coming down hard, his reflection through the glass matching exactly what he felt.

Exhausted.

Yet for the life of him, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't sleep at night, which explained the dark circles that were always under his eyes. He didn't have an appetite either, and it showed in the hollowness of his face and paleness of his skin. He knew he must have lost about twenty pounds. Still, he could tell not all of it was from Anna, or his legal problems, or even working long hours at the clinic. Only Leo knew of the real reason behind his five o' clock shadow and slowly fading form.

He half thought to call him, to tell his brother what he found in his mailbox but then remembered how late it was. David had tried to reach him earlier but got his voicemail several times, dreading what that meant. If he had told anyone his secret. He hoped not.

::They're going to find out sooner or later.:: He realized getting up from the couch to look at the snow, wondering if it was snowing in Paris.

He couldn't help that either. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't stop thinking about her. Where she was, if she was happy in her new life. How the baby was doing and if she was taking care of herself.

"She'd be showing by now." He said to the emptiness of the cabin, the emptiness that felt like a tomb every time he walked through the door. In truth, it was why he avoided being home, because without her it didn't feel the same. Yes, some of her clothes were still hanging in the closet, her shampoo still in the shower but it had lost her scent, her presence that he had grown so accustomed to.

He missed her. He missed the way his arms curved around her at night, her voice soothing, even now as he remembered it in his mind, especially her laugh. He knew he still loved her and he fought everything he had in him to call her, to go to Paris, to tell her everything. But it wouldn't be fair. Not to her or their baby.

He needed her now though, probably more than he ever needed anyone in his life. But this time he would do what he hadn't done in their marriage.

He would put her first. He would let her go.

_Paris, France_

She remembered the look on Robin's face as she opened the door that day, the feeling of her daughter's arms around her was all it took to pull the tears from her eyes. They streamed down her face for what felt like hours, as Robin held her while she cried.

Afterwards, it had been a slow process. Of starting over, of going through the morning sickness and reacquainting herself to Robin's life and how HIV managed it. It broke her heart to see first hand what the disease did to her. But she had found steadiness in her new life in Paris, both with being pregnant and with Robin.

But everyday, she still thought about David.

She didn't know if she could ever forgive him for what he had done but trying to stop loving him was an entirely different matter. As much as she hated herself for it, she worried about him, especially since there had been no phone calls, no letters, nothing from him. It surprised her, his lack of interest, even angered her, until she realized he was giving her exactly what she wanted. It bothered her that she wanted him to contact her.

Anna knew he had been cleared of jail time, knew he had community service at a local clinic, that information she had gotten from a few phone calls from both Aidan and Jackson, but she wondered how he occupied his time, alone, in the cabin. She at least had Robin and the baby to keep her busy. He had no one and that ate at her.

The baby was another constant reminder of David as well. Every little movement their child made inside of her, she thought of him, secretly wishing he was there.

She hated that she missed him this much, still four months later. That his face would appear in her mind when she least expected it. That sometimes she would see a man that looked like him walk down the street and would have to stop herself from following him. It terrified her to think that she might not ever get over him completely but the minute she would resolve to ignore the feelings, something else would remind her, and the guilt would start all over again.

It was this time of year that bothered her the most. She knew that he already was dealing with his father's death and now was spending Christmas alone.

As if on cue, a flutter of movement from their baby brought her out of her thoughts and she turned from the snow, her eyes hazy from starring at it for so long.

A knock on the door startles her and she stared at it quizzically, wondering who on earth would be here at this hour. She put her tea down on a nearby coffee table and moves to open it, curious to see if it was Robin, back from her party.

The person at the other end was the last person she expected to see.


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter 2_

"Leo?" She questioned, taken aback by the fact that he was standing only a few feet away from her. "What…what are you doing here?"

He gave her an apologetic look, motioning with his hands, as if asking if he could come in. She nodded once, curious now. He didn't look right, she thought, and was quieter that usual.

"I'm sorry." He barely mumbled. "I probably should have called first but I wasn't sure if you would have answered." He turned, facing her again.

She tilts her head, giving him a look that told him she knew what this was all about.

"Did he ask you to come here? Hmm? Is he downstairs waiting for you to give him the OK once you've already primed me to see him?" She asked suspiciously, her adrenaline rushing at the thought that he might possibly be close by.

"No." Leo replied back honestly. "He doesn't even know I'm here."

She felt her heart sink.

"He doesn't?" She shook her head. "Then why are you here?"

"I…I have something to tell you Anna…and…I don't know how." He answered, turning away from her to look out the window, wishing there was an easier way. "God I had a whole flight to try and think of the right way…" He mumbled to himself again, in disbelief that he had spontaneously gotten on a plane to Paris the night before Christmas Eve.

"Leo…" She said back softly, touching the side of his arm. She felt the sadness seep out of him then, worrying now. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"It's David." He turned again, his words now almost a hushed whisper. "He's…he's dying Anna."

_Pine Valley_

After a quick shower and a few bites of a peanut butter sandwich, he sat down at his desk, pulling out the note pad he had been using since yesterday and started working again, the light from the Christmas tree in the corner his only company. He half wonders where it had come from, but then remembered giving Maggie a key.

Still ignoring the headache that never seemed to dissipate, he went to work on his notes, making sure his writing was legible, wondering how long it would be before he could no longer focus long enough to finish his patent and the rest of his medical journal.

Even though it was tedious work, it would be the only thing left of him after he was gone, his last contribution to the medical world, and he wanted it to be perfect. It gave him a sense of purpose on the nights he couldn't sleep, on the days he could barely get through. But every now and then, the thoughts would creep back in.

::When is it going to happen?:: ::How long do I really have?::

No matter how long he tried to ignore the fear, it penetrated him in almost every single moment of the day. The only weapon against it was to work as hard and as long as he could so that his life, or at least what was left of it, would have some meaning.

He shook his head, trying to rid himself of the thoughts and concentrate on the work in front of him. He wanted to finish them by dawn. Then maybe, he might be able to sleep for just a few short hours.

_Paris, France_

Leo watched as her stance went rigged, her eyes widening at what he had just said.

"He's…"

"Dying." He finished for her, watching the rest of the color drain from her face. "He's dying." He repeated, more for himself then for Anna.

"No…" She shook her head violently, talking herself out of the idea. "No he couldn't be…he was fine…"

"Anna…" He took two steps closer, taking her hands in his, hands that were now shaking. "They…they found a tumor, the size of a grapefruit, in his brain."

He waited as she processed the news, seeing the tears start to form at the corners of her eyes.

"Cancer?" She asked, barely audible.

"They don't know. To find out they would have to perform surgery to remove it and then do a biopsy."

"So then they can just go in and remove then?" She asked, taking a breath now, hopeful. "And if it's cancer they can treat it right?"

"That's the thing Anna." His voice cracks. "The surgery is…complicated. Only a few neurosurgeons around the world will perform it and even then it…only has a 2 percent success rate."

He watched as she covered her mouth with her hands, her tears a steady stream down her face as she backed away from him. Before she got a step further he pulled her to him, feeling her head bury itself into his chest. He stroked her hair.

"I know…" He whispered, his stomach a twist of knots at the thought of telling her the rest. "I know…" Was all he thought to say over and over, as her shuddered cries reverberated throughout her apartment.

He waited until she was finished, until she was calm enough to stand on her own without him thinking she was going to fall. He brushed the remaining tears away, hating what this was doing to her, and that he had to be the one to tell her.

"Can we sit?" He asks, motioning towards the living room.

She nodded silently, sniffling back a few more tears before finally sitting opposite of him on the couch.

"When is the surgery?" She asked, trying to focus on all the questions she had. "It hasn't happened yet, has it?"

"No, no." He shook his head, reassuring her. "That's why I'm here Anna. The surgery hasn't been scheduled yet…and everyday that goes by…it's jeopardizing his own life."

"Why haven't they scheduled him yet?"

"He doesn't want the procedure." He replied back, the tone in his voice changing from compassionate to angry. "And he's miserable...he gets migraines that debilitate him for days, a few of them have even led to seizures. He blacks out sometimes and when he's not in pain he's putting in hours at the clinic like nothing is even wrong with him." He looks up. "He's been keeping it from everyone for months…I just found out yesterday and I tried to convince him to go through with it but he doesn't want anything to do with it Anna. He'll *die* without it."

"Why?" She exclaims. It wasn't like David to give up so easily. "If he knows he'll die without it, why won't he…?"

"Because he knows his chances aren't very good." Leo answers. "And I think he thinks he's lifting the burden off of everyone that cares for him if he just handles it on his own."

"He's afraid." She responded evenly, knowing the real reason. "He has to be terrified." She shook her head.

"He barely said anything when he finally told me and the only reason he did is because I kept after him. We were at my loft a few months ago when he had a really bad headache, so I made him go to the doctor. He must have found out then but told us all it was just stress. These last few weeks they've been more frequent and it shows, he's not sleeping, he's barely eating he's so thin…I don't think he has much longer. I finally got him to tell me, but now I don't know how to help him."

"We have to do something." She shook her head, knowing Leo wouldn't exaggerate David's condition. "We can't just let him die."

"That's why I came to see you." He took her hand again. "Anna you have to come back with me. You're the only one who can convince him to have this surgery."

_Pine Valley_

He rubbed his eyes, tired but satisfied with the progress he had made. It was morning by now, the forest alive with movement from the birds and squirrels. He stretched in the chair, his back stiff from sitting for so long.

David got up, making his way to the bedroom. He didn't know why but for some reason it was always easier to sleep during the day, it made it bearable at least. The night was a lonely place, and it was then did he miss her the most, it was then that his mind would race about where his life would be in the next several weeks. But during the day, it was if his mind could pretend that she was just out somewhere, maybe at work and that she would come back, come home.

He grabbed an old t-shirt of hers from the closet, pressing it into his face. He reveled in its worn out softness, in the scent that filled his airways, the scent that was unmistakably hers. As he began to unfold it a small black box dropped from underneath it, hitting the floor with a thud.

Quizzically he starred at it, picking it up a second later. When he lifted the lid, a beautifully cut diamond ring starred back at him. He had almost forgotten about it completely but now the intentions of the ring were slowly flowing through his memory.

David had planned on going to Paris, two months after Anna had left. He had convinced himself that was enough time for her to take the time she needed and finally forgive him for all the lies and secrets. He knew the divorce papers had been filed, so he planned on proposing, to win her back, and take her home with him.

But then just one week before he was set to go, he got the news of his prognosis, and set the box in the closet, deciding that it would be best he stayed out of Anna's life for good.

::If only it could have been that easy.:: He thought, setting the ring back along the shelf of the closet.

He walked back to the bed, not bothering to pull the covers over him, his hands still around the fabric of her shirt as he closed his eyes. He was asleep within seconds.

_Paris, France_

"Me?" She got up from the couch. "Leo I haven't seen him in…in *months*...what makes you think I can convince him of anything at this point?"

"Because he still loves you."

"Leo…"

"No Anna you need to hear this." He got up from the couch as well. "He's been an absolute wreck since you've left and it has nothing to do with the fact that he's been sick and afraid. The first few weeks after you were gone it took everything in Trey and I to keep him from flying to Paris. "

"Trey?" She eyed him quizzically, wondering what Trey Kenyon had anything to do with this.

""Turns out David and I have another long lost little brother." Leo smirked. It was the first time she had seen him smile since he stepped foot inside her door. "Anyway he wanted to makes things right by you but we all convinced him that he should give you space."

"He should have called." She responded angrily. "At least about this anyway…"

"You're right." He agreed. "He should have but he thought he was protecting you. He didn't want you to worry about him."

"Oh God Leo, this is such a mess."

"I know, I know it is." He shrugged. "And there isn't an excuse for what he did to Maria, for all the lies he told, for hurting you, for any of it Anna but…I don't want my brother to die." He admitted to her honestly. "And I know you don't either. I…he can't do this without you."

He waited for her to respond, watching as her eyes contemplated what to do with everything he had told her, with her own feelings. A piece of him wondered if she still loved him, hoping the answer was a yes. But she didn't have time to answer, and they both turned to see a young woman walk through the door. A woman who had Anna's eyes and confident stride. Her daughter. Robin.

"Mom?" She questioned, looking at Leo. "What are you doing up so late and…who is this?" She asked, sounding annoyed. When she saw her mother's face, her eyes red rimmed from crying, it made her worry even more.

"This is Leo." Anna replied to her daughter. "David's brother."

At the mention of David Robin walked further into the room, standing directly in front of Leo.

"Listen." She told Leo. "I'm sure you're a really nice guy and you're just trying to help your brother out but my mom has been through enough because of what he did." She motioned towards Anna, who was already trying to interrupt, signaling with her hand she was going to finish what she had to say. "And it would really be nice if we could all get through the holidays without thinking about what David did. So, can you just give us a little peace and leave? I don't know why you're here and I don't care to know why, my only concern is my mother…."

"Robin…" Anna finally cut in. "Leo isn't here to try and plead David's case."

"He's not?"

"No." Anna shook her head, the effects of crying finally getting to her. She felt the exhaustion now, coming full force. "He's not."

Robin looked perplexed now, turning back to her mother's former brother-in-law.

"So then why are you here and why has she been crying? Something isn't wrong with the baby is there?"

"No." Leo finally stepped in. "It's my brother. Something is wrong with *him*." He told her evenly. He was in awe of her, for sticking up for Anna the way she did. "My brother is dying." He watched as Robin shot a look back to Anna, now understanding why she looked so upset. "And he's refusing treatment."

"Why?"

"The odds aren't very good Luv." Anna stepped in, taking one of Robin's hands.

"How bad?"

"A two percent success rate." Leo finishes, still baffled at how all of this could be happening to someone he cared so much about. "There isn't much time left for him, and I guess I was kinda hoping your mom could get through to him."

"Mom?" Robin looked from Leo back to Anna. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know." She sighs, rubbing her forehead in frustration. This was the last thing she expected to be dealing with and it tore her in two. "There's not much I can do." She looked back towards Leo apologetically, his face crest fallen at her answer. It wasn't that she didn't want to help David, she just didn't think he would listen to someone who had practically walked out on him. "Even if I did go back with you Leo it doesn't change his odds and if he wanted to see me…you wouldn't even be here to speak on his behalf."

With a slow pause she watched as he pulled a small card from his breast pocket. He handed it to her.

"This is where I'm staying." He told her. "I leave in the morning so I can make it back to Greenlee for Christmas. If you change your mind…" He trailed off.

"Leo…" She tries, wanting him to understand.

"It was nice meeting you Robin." Was all he said before he was out the door, disappointed at Anna's answer.

Robin waited until the door shut behind him before taking in her mother's appearance. She was visibly shaken and it scared her to think about what was going through Anna's mind at the moment.

"You okay?" She asked, bringing a hand to her back as they both stared out the window.

"I don't know what I am." She responded honestly, looking down to the card in her hands.

"He wants you to go with him?" Robin asked, her eyes back on Anna. "To convince David of the surgery?"

"Yeah." Anna nodded, her mind a blur. "He thinks I can get through to David, that maybe I'm the only one who can." She felt her throat tighten. "But I…I don't know if I can…see him. We left things so badly, and now he's sick…"

"Mom…" She turned her around. "I know how hard this must be for you. I felt the same way just before Stone died." She brushes a lone tear away from her mother's face. "And while it was the hardest thing I've ever had to go through, I wouldn't change one minute of those last few moments we had together. I was here, when he broke your heart. I listened to you cry yourself to sleep at night, and I saw the far off looks you got when you thought no one was paying attention. *I* was." She smiled a small smile. "And even though I hate the fact that he hurt you, I know you still love him mom. You're not going to stop loving him here in Paris, or anywhere else for that matter. I really think it's time you stop running and admit it to yourself. You still love him."

"So you think I should go then?"

"He's dying." She said softly. "And in the end, all the other stuff, the bad stuff, it doesn't matter so much anymore. So yeah…I think you should. If that's what your heart is telling you."

"I don't want him to die Robin." She admitted, her daughter pulling her in. "Why is this happening?"

"I don't know mom." She shook her head. "But he's afraid. He's so afraid he won't let anyone in to help him. He probably needs you now more than ever. I think, a piece of you, still needs him too."

Anna nodded, knowing what she had to do but not quite sure she had it in her to handle it.

_Across town, A few hours later_

"Hey Greens." He smiled, his feet propped up on the bed. "Sorry, I know it's still early there."

"Did you see Anna?" His wife asked him from over the phone.

"Yeah." Leo swallowed, clearing his throat. "I just came from her apartment. You were right, she's staying with Robin."

"How'd it go?"

"She took it hard, obviously…." He unbuttoned his shirt as he propped himself in front of the headboard. "But…"

"But?"

"I don't think I'm coming back with her."

"Why? Doesn't she realize that she was our last hope?" Greenlee exclaimed.

"I think she's just as afraid as David is. I think it scares her to feel what she's feeling. She's been trying so hard to get over him…I don't think she was expecting this."

"None of us were expecting this." She reminded him. "What are you going to do?"

"What else can I do? I gave it my best shot but I'm not going to miss Christmas with you. Especially since it might be his last…"

"Don't talk like that Leo." She stops him. "You don't know that. He could surprise us all and decide to go through with the surgery and come out fine."

"Maybe." He responded, not sounding as optimistic as his wife. "Listen my plane leaves in a couple hours and I'm beat." He told her. "He's been trying to call me but if he get's a hold of you don't tell him where I am ok? I don't want his hopes up, especially since Anna isn't coming back with me."

"Alright hunny. Get some sleep and I'll see you tonight."

"Ok babe. Night."

"Morning." She teased before hanging up the phone.

He smiled back, hanging the receiver down before leaning over to switch the light. A knock at the door forces him to turn it back on. He walks the few remaining steps to answer it, thinking it's his morning paper. When he opens it, he sees Anna, a single suitcase in her hand.

"When do we leave?"


	3. Chapter 3

_Chapter 3_

_Pine Valley_

_Christmas Eve 10:00AM_

"David?" She shouted louder, rapping on the door, wondering why he wasn't answering. "David it's me…" She tried again.

He faintly heard the noise from his bedroom, waking him from a deep sleep. It took him several minutes to get himself to his feet, as he seemed to always feel dizzy when first waking up. He padded his way to the front door, opening it, surprised to see her standing there, a bag of groceries in her arms.

"Finally." Maggie breathed, handing him the bag. "It took you long enough, it's cold outside and I couldn't get to my keys."

"Sorry." He smiled, peaking in the bag. "I was sleeping. What's all this?"

"Groceries." She responded, grabbing another bag that was sitting on the porch. "If you haven't noticed you're practically out of food."

"You didn't have to…"

"I know but I wanted to." She smiled,reaching up to hug him. "C'mon I got a few more in the car, come help me."

"Let me just get my shoes on." He walked over to the closet and bent down to get his boots when a sharp pain shot through his temple, causing him to flinch.

"What's wrong?" Maggie asked, noticing him as he brought a hand up to the side of his head.

"Nothing. Just a headache." He lied.

"The last time I was here you had one." She eyed him suspiciously. "Are you ok?"

"Just stress." He replied, the pain subsiding.

"You need to start taking better care of yourself." She shook her head, already out the door to get the rest of the groceries, not realizing what kind of care her cousin truly needed. He followed her a moment later, the sunlight much brighter than he could really handle.

_Flight 147, en route to the United States_

"Want some?" He offered, the bag of peanuts already opened as he popped a few in his mouth.

"No. Thanks." She shook her head, not sure her stomach could handle any food at the moment.

"You should eat something."

"Like half a bag of peanuts?" She smirked. "Yep, that constitutes as a hearty breakfast."

"Hey I bet the baby would like them." He shot back, glad for the company he now had on the flight home. It had been a relief to see her standing in front of his hotel room and they had left within the next few hours. She was surprised by the fact that he had a ticket for her, grateful he had anticipated she might come back with him. "How has it been by the way? Being pregnant? Do you know what you're having?"

"Not yet." She shook her head, grateful for the fact that Leo was taking her mind of how nervous she was. "But I think I have an idea of what it might be."

"So am I getting a new niece or nephew?" He asked, grinning.

"I think it's a girl." She smiled back, palming her hands along her stomach. "I had the same feeling with Robin. But as long as the baby's healthy, that's really all that matters."

"What do you think David will say when he notices you're already showing?" Leo asked.

"I guess we'll find out, won't we?"

He paused for several seconds.

"Can I ask you something Anna?" He turned, looking at her, the sunlight from the window glowing softly behind her, giving her an angel like quality.

::If you get him to do this Anna, you really will be an angel.::

"What?" She asked, breaking him from his thought.

"It's not that I'm not grateful, you dropping everything, time with your daughter and all but…I guess I'm just wondering why." He tilted his head. "Is it because you don't want him to die or...because, maybe…maybe you still love him?"

_Pine Valley_

"That seems to be the last of them." He said as he put a few more cans of soup in the pantry. "Thanks Mags, I appreciate it, and the Christmas tree out there looks great."

"No problem." She shrugged, folding up the brown paper bags. "You've done a lot for me since I've moved here and I just wanted to return the favor. You've been really busy lately, what with the clinic and all that work on your desk. What's will all the notes?"

"Yeah I'm just trying to get caught up since I have time. Without scheduling surgeries and…well with Anna being gone, I've had some motivation."

"Have you heard from her?"

He shook his head.

You could call her?" She suggested, hopeful.

"She doesn't want to hear from me Maggie."

"You don't know that."

"I do. I do know that. It's better this way." He took the bags from her hands, his mind running. "It'll be easier for her when…." He stopped.

"Easier for her when what?" She questioned, noticing his change of thought.

"For when the baby is born." He recovers. "She'll be settled, she'll be with Robin. She'll move on."

"I um…saw the divorce papers on the coffee table. When I walked in I mean…"

"Yeaahh." He breathed. "It's official. We're no longer husband and wife anymore."

"I'm sorry David." She hugged him, wrapping her arms around his neck, noticing then that he needed a haircut, wondering why he looked thinner and thinner every time she saw him.

"It is what it is." He tried to make light of it. "But let's not talk about it anymore."

"Yeah, I mean it is Christmas Eve."

He remembered then.

"Damn Maggie." He brought his hand to his forehead. "I have your Christmas present but I forgot to pick it up…the store closes at noon, I have to go if I'm…."

"David…" She stopped him. "It's ok. You're never going to make it anyway."

"I'm sorry." He replied, his eyes telling her he meant it.

"Don't worry about it." She waved him off. "But there is one thing you could do for me. I would *really* love it…."

"Anything." He snapped his fingers. "You name it."

"Come to the tree lightening ceremony tonight in the park with us? Please?…Trey, Leo, & Greenlee will all be there." She watches as he begins to shake his head in a no. "And then Trey is having a Christmas party back at his place afterwards…"

"I don't think so Maggie, I mean I…"

"David you need to take a break. I know you miss Anna." She draped an arm over his shoulder. "But if she's moving on than you should try too. Just this one night? It would really mean a lot to me."

It took him a few seconds but he finally agreed. Maybe being out among people would help cheer him up.

"Ok." He finally relented. "I have a shift at the clinic this afternoon but I'll meet you at the park with the others."

Again she hugged him.

"Thanks Cuz." She smiled, kissing him on the cheek. "I'll see you at seven."

"Sounds good."

"I have to go. Bianca and I are exchanging gifts in an hour. I'll see ya later."

He nodded.

"See you tonight."

_Flight 147, en route to the United States_

"Well I don't want him to die, if that's what you're asking." She told him, deciding on a peanut after all. "I mean just because we're divorced doesn't mean I want anything to happen to him. He's the father of my child…"

"Yeah but do you still love him?"

She eyed him. He wasn't going to let her off so easy.

"I will never understand how he could have done all those things to Maria and to her family…" She started. "But from the minute you told me he was sick, none of that seemed to register to me anymore." She looked back up at him. "Yes. I still love him." She watched him smile. "And I don't think I'll ever stop loving your brother. I just hope it's enough to make him reconsider what he's giving up."

"It is." He told her softly, nudging her affectionately. "It's enough. Once he realizes that you and the baby are in his future, he'll fight like hell to be apart of that. He loves you Anna, he told me he's never loved anyone the way that he loves you. Which is what made it so hard for him to keep his distance. And for the record, he's not the same man he was five years ago. I know it doesn't erase what he did but…he's changed."

"I just hope that he'll chose this surgery." She replied, wanting to get off the subject on her feelings for David, even though it did feel good to admit that she still loved him. "What do you know about it? The surgery I mean."

"Not much since David hasn't even considered it. Greenlee and I have been doing some research on his condition and a lot of the articles we've read online reference a Dr. Gregory Evans as the leading specialist in this procedure."

"Can we get him to come to Pine Valley and review David's case?"

"With a hefty sum of money." He nodded. "I just hope there isn't a waiting list or anything." He grabbed another handful of peanuts. "But first things first, we have to get him to agree to the surgery in the first place."

She nodded, the nervousness returning as she thought about what it was going to be like to see him again, to hear his voice. She didn't know what she would do if he said no, if he didn't want to see her, or what she would even say for that matter.

::Just tell him the truth. Tell him you love him. That you don't want to live without him anymore.:: She advised herself in her mind, closing her eyes. She should at least try to get some rest for the remainder of the flight.

She had a long day ahead of them.


	4. Chapter 4

_Chapter 4_

_Pine Valley_

The park was just coming alive as he got there, crowds of people making there way, listening to carolers, admiring the tall pine trees with different ornaments and lines of lights that would illuminate their surroundings in just a few short minutes.

David caught Maggie and she waved him over to where Greenlee and Trey were standing.

"You made it." Maggie smiled, pulling him into the circle they had made to talk.

"I promised you didn't I?" He smiled back. He turned to Greenlee. "Where's Leo? I've been trying to get a hold of him since yesterday."

At his questions, Greenlee stiffened, trying to come up with a good excuse.

"He uhh…said something about going to New York to pick up a last minute Christmas present for me." She lied, accepting David's hug. "He should be here by now." She said as an after thought.

"Sounds like Leo." David rolled his eyes, the attention he gave his wife was something to be admired, and he wished he had possessed the same quality.

"How was the clinic?" Trey asked. "Are you coming by my place after this?"

"The clinic was chaotic as usual and I'm not sure if I'll be able to stop by tonight…"

"David." Maggie eyed him, wondering why he was trying so hard to distance himself. "It's Christmas Eve. You shouldn't be alone on Christmas Eve."

"Yeah David at least come for a cup of eggnog." Trey suggested.

"Aright, alright." He smirked at the irony of it all. He had wanted this family to pull together so badly and now… "Maybe just for one cup."

_The Outskirts of Pine Valley_

"Man I thought we would never land."

"No kidding." She replied, watching the road curve around as they drove back into town from the airport. "If the snow hadn't shown up we wouldn't have had to circle the runway."

"We'll we're the idiots who decided to fly on one of the busiest days of the year. What does that say about us?"

She laughed, the sound both shaky and nervous. The closer they were to Pine Valley, the harder it was for her to keep her heart from beating out of her chest.

"You nervous?' Leo asked her, catching the hitch in her laugh just a moment ago.

"Yeah." She replied, not bothering to try and hide it. "I am. I don't know what he's going to say once he sees me…what if…?"

"He's going to love seeing you Anna." He reassures. "Don't worry."

"What way are you taking?" She asked, watching as he turned the car left instead of going straight. "The cabin is the other way…"

"We're not going to the cabin. Greenlee called me from car and told me Maggie convinced David into going to the tree lighting ceremony in the park tonight. We'll meet up with him there. It should be almost over by now."

_Pine Valley Memorial Park_

He stood next to Maggie as the ceremony was almost at its end. After speeches from Jackson and the Mayor, it would be time for all the trees that lined the park to be lit. David turned, catching sight of Maggie's excited smile and instantly was glad he came, for that one moment at least.

As the trees were lit, the crowd was cast in a glow of reds and yellows and greens. It was quite a sight, and people then moved along each tree, inspecting the ornaments, admiring how beautiful everything all looked.

The four of them agreed to leave the main area of the park so others could look at the trees. Once they headed to a lesser-lit area, David had to again press a hand to his head, steadying himself from the dizzying affects of all the lights.

Again Maggie noticed that he was in pain, and looped an arm around him for support.

"David what's wrong?" She asked, Trey and Greenlee now turning around to see what was going on. "Do you still have that headache from earlier?"

"No…the lights…" He tried to make out. "They just hurt my eyes, that's all."

Greenlee had tried, very hard in fact, to keep her mouth shut but the thought of David lying now to Maggie as he had done to Leo had taken its toll on her. Having to watch Leo stand by as David kept everyone in the dark infuriated her in a way. She thought it was selfish and couldn't understand why he just wouldn't accept help from them.

"David…" She eyed him sternly. "We both know that's not all it is. Why don't you tell her the truth?"

"Tell me the truth about what?"

"You know?" He asked back incredulously. "He told you?"

"He's my husband!" She exclaimed. "Of course he told me."

"David what's going on?" Trey asked, trying to get an answer from someone.

"Nothing." He said again, this time looking Greenlee square in the eye as if to say 'let it go'. "I'm fine. Really."

"If you don't tell them I will." Greenlee insisted. "They're a part of this family too. They have a right to know."

"Know what?" Maggie asked, this time louder, wanting a straight answer.

David was reeling, furious at Greenlee for making him do this. On Christmas Eve no less. Still, he didn't have a choice now.

"Ok. Ok." He paused. "I guess I don't really have much of a choice." He took one of Maggie's mittened hands. "Mags, I'm sick. Really sick." He sighed. "And I'm not going to get any better."

"You mean you *won't* get better." Greenlee mumbled.

"Can I just do this please?" He turned, before trying to explain. "Two months ago I was having some headaches that weren't going away so…I got them checked out. But when the results came back, they found a tumor, already growing inside of my head."

"No…David…" Maggie whispered, her words hoarse from tears that were about to make their presence known.

"It's true." He nodded, his voice calming at the sight of her tears. "And they might be able to do surgery but it has a very low success rate. Which is why I've opted out of the procedure."

"It's terminal?" Trey asked, trying to process this all himself.

"Yes. They've given me a few months but I've already started having blackouts and sometimes I lose feeling in my hands or feet. It could be more like weeks now…"

"But just because the operation has a low success rate doesn't mean it won't work." Maggie told him, her words hopeful. "With the right surgeon…"

"Only a few doctors even perform this surgery darlin'." He tried to make her see. "And even if I did do it, there are only a handful of cases where the surgery was successful, which meant paralysis, lost of sight, of hearing, of memory even. It's not worth the risk."

"It's worth it to me!" She cried back, pulling her hand away from him. "I don't want you to die!"

"Maggie…"

"I think I need to be alone." She shook her head, running back into the crowds of people that were still admiring the lights.

"Why did you even say anything?"" He turned back to Greenlee, visibly angry this time. "She's only twenty years old, this is really scary for her…"

"I'm sorry but I hated the fact that you were lying to her David." She shot back. "That isn't fair to her either."

"No you just don't like the fact that I'm trying to deal with this on my own terms." He pointed to her. "I *don't* want the surgery."

"We just want you to have a fighting chance David, that's all." Came Leo's voice behind him. He turned, catching sight of his brother standing in front of the three of them now.

"Leo…it doesn't matter." He replied back, half exasperated. "Whether I die at home in bed or on an operating room table. It *doesn't* matter…"

"It does matter." Leo nodded defiantly. "It matters to me. And…and it matters to her."

David watched as his brother took a step aside, Anna's form now replacing his. Seeing her there, just mere feet away didn't seem real, but more like a dream suddenly coming to life. He felt himself intake a sharp breath at the vision standing before him. Half of him wondered what she was doing here while the other half didn't even care. She was by far the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, more beautiful than any one light that sparkled along the trees in the park.

He felt himself continue to stare at her, his body useless as he looked at her before she finally spoke.

"It matters." She replied, her eyes equally focused on him. "It matters."


	5. Chapter 5

_Chapter 5_

For Anna, all the hesitation she had felt before this moment somehow wasn't important anymore. He was finally there, in front of her, and it took everything in her not to wrap tired arms around him and let the rest of the world pass them by. She hadn't been sure how it would feel, being this close to him, but the familiar intensity of his stare on her, in what that feeling did to her was all she needed to know. She loved him as much now as she ever had.

"How…? Wha…what are you doing here?" He asked her, finally getting his thoughts settled enough to question her presence. "You called her?" He turned to Leo for an explanation.

"Not exactly…"

"Leo came to Paris…" Anna interrupted, David's eyes solely on hers again. "We just came from the airport."

"You told her?" He exclaimed, amazed that Leo would betray his secret. "How much does she know?"

"Everything." Leo replied, not at all phased by David's sudden outburst. He knew the risk he was taking even before he had stepped on the plane. That he would be angry. "She knows all of it."

"Leo!" He shouts. "I tell you something in confidence and you just decide to tell anyone who will listen?"

"Maybe we should go…" Trey steps in, noticing a few remaining people in the park stare at them in confusion. "I should probably go check on Maggie…"

"I think that's a good idea." Greenlee nods, pulling at Leo's arm. "C'mon…"

"You might not see it now." Leo paused, turning backwards to meet David's gaze. "But I did this for you. Just *listen* to her ok?" He finished before allowing Greenlee and Trey to lead him towards the other end of the park, leaving Anna alone with his brother.

"I can't believe this…" He shook his head once Leo was out of sight. "He had no right…"

"He had every right." Anna corrected him. "He's your brother and he loves you. He just wants what's best for you."

David paused, looking up at her now. She was probably one of the few people in this world that could call him out on his faults without offending him in the process. Why was it that it was her alone that could calm him down long enough to see reason?

"I know." David finally sighed, looking down to the snow at his feet. "I guess I just…thought I had a little longer…until everyone found out." He cocked his head back up towards her, his mouth lifting in a smirk. "Paris huh?" He asked, remembering, realizing his assumptions about where she had been staying was accurate. "How's Robin?"

"Good." Anna nodded, blushing slightly at the half smiled he was giving. She knew he wasn't stupid. He must have known where she had been this whole time. "They have her working in the lab the rest of this week and she wasn't thrilled about it when I left."

"And the baby?" He asked tentatively, barely noticing the slight bulge of her belly, visible only through her long black coat. He was half afraid he had overstepped by asking but he desperately needed to know.

"The baby's fine." She nodded again, not taking offense. "Nice and big. She's been really active these last few weeks."

"*She?*" He asked back, smiling.

"Or he." Anna recovered quickly. "I didn't find out yet. If it's a boy or…a girl. I just sort of think it's a girl."

"A girl..." He repeated, turning his back towards her, the realization of what he was leaving behind having a powerful effect on him. He clutched the back of a park bench, his gaze steady on the lake in the distance. "I don't know why but for some reason, I kinda had it in my mind that it was a girl too."

She smiled at that, taking a few steps towards him. He could hear her footprints in the snow and it made him shiver at the thought that she was in fact really here.

"David…" She finally stood just a few feet behind him now. "Why didn't you tell me?"

He inhaled a breath, walking around the bench now, taking a seat on the cold wood and metal.

"I…I wanted to." He responded honestly. "I even tried a few times but…every time it started to ring… I…"

"You what?" She asked.

"I guess I panicked." He admitted. "And what good was it going to do anyway Anna? There wasn't anything you could do, there isn't anything you can do *now*." He looked back down. "You had just started a new life and who was I to ruin that?"

She wasn't sure if she could go there yet. If she could talk about the past and what led her to Paris in the first place.

"How have you been feeling?" She asked instead.

"Depends on the day." He shrugged, trying to hide how bad it really was. "Sometimes it's hard but work has been keeping me busy, keeping my mind off of it."

"Leo said there was a surgery." She pressed on, her voice still tentative. "He said you wouldn't even consider…"

"Anna…" He tried to stop her.

"I want to know why." She finished. "Why wouldn't you at least *think* about it?"

"Because I'm a doctor." He tried to explain. "I saw the scans Anna, it…it's pretty bad." He admitted. "And I don't want my life to end on some operating table. Or worse…to still be alive and have no control over my own body. To be dependent on someone else for the rest of my life. It wouldn't be fair to anyone, expecting that." He turned to look at her. "And what happens if it really is cancer? Or it comes back? I just don't think I could live with all the wondering."

He waited for her to respond, to tell him she understood. To be supportive, so that he could feel some sort of relief from his own decision. Instead she walked around the bench to face him, their eyes just intent on each other as they had been only a few minutes ago.

"Do you know what I think?"

He shook his head. She leaned in.

"I think you're afraid." She challneged. "I think you're afraid of losing control. Of having someone care about you, and then of letting them down." She sat next to him now, looking out over the iced lake. "I also think you're scarred of dying."

"Wouldn't you be?" He asked, slightly irritated by her tone and what she was saying.

"Of course I would." She exclaims. "You have *every* reason to be afraid of what you're facing. No one is expecting you not to be afraid." She reasoned. "But the David I knew would *fight*. The David I knew would have ignored every single thing that doctor told him and choose to live."

"I just don't have it in me Anna." He breathed, the act of constantly having to defend himself getting to him. "I wake up every morning with a nagging headache that doesn't ever go away, I get dizzy, bright lights hurt my eyes, and I can't focus half time." He looked at her, wishing he didn't have to go into all of this. "The success rate is only two percent. *Two*. I have more chance of getting struck by lightening than making it through this surgery."

"So you're just going to quit?" She asked him, angry now. "You're just going to be going through your day and then that's it? It'll all be over? Screw the people who care about you?"

"I don't need this." He pointed at her, equally frustrated. "Not from Leo. Not from you."

"Well apparently you do because you aren't *listening*…" She watched as he got up from the bench. "David...where are you going?"

He turned around, facing her, the park now a vice, slowly closing in all around him. He hated that she had come all this way, that he was disappointing her…again. But she just didn't understand. No one did.

"I'm sorry Anna. For all the pain that I caused you after Maria. For hurting you so badly you felt as if you had to escape to another continent to feel whole again. I am *truly* sorry." He inhaled a sharp breath. "And I do appreciate it, you coming all the way to try and save me but…I don't need saving. It's too late for that." He shrugged. "You should go. Go back to Paris and be with Robin." He said it with neither the anger or the frustration from before, as if it was what he truly wanted her to do.

She watched as he walked away, wondering why this had to be so bard. She knew he was going to be stubborn about it all but…did he really think she could just hop on a plane and forget all about him and what he was facing?

She felt lost. She felt as if she had failed him and half wondered if anyone could talk him into taking his own life back.

"I'm not going anywhere David." She told herself, alone in the park now, vowing to stay, for how ever long it took David to understand how precious his life was. "This isn't over."


	6. Chapter 6

_Chapter 6  
_

_The Cabin_

He sat at his desk, clicking along the keyboard of his computer wildly, almost frantically even, trying to ignore what had just happened tonight. It was killing him, the fact that he had just left her there, sitting alone on a park bench when all she was trying to do was help.

Apart of him had thought about going back, of making sure she was alright, but he was so disgusted with himself, and of how things had ended, he didn't think she would want to have anything to do with him anyway.

::Maybe it was good that you left.:: He thought, still trying to focus on the screen ahead of him. ::Maybe now she'll see that you're not going to back down. Then she'll go back to Robin and the baby and Paris and everything will be fine.::

Still it was hard to push away what she was offering. There were days when he wanted to call Dr. Evans and tell him to schedule the surgery as early as tomorrow if necessary. He hated how hopeless he had become but he was a doctor himself, he knew the risks and he also knew what was already stacked against him.

He turned, the sound of a key being pushed into the lock bringing him out of his haphazard thoughts. He half wonders if it was Maggie, hoping that it was so he could apologize and explain to her why he had kept this from her.

When Anna walked in he almost wondered why he was surprised to see her. He had to remind himself of how stubborn she was. She wasn't going to let this go but he wasn't sure he could handle another fight.

"Anna…." He started, as she walked towards him and the desk. He could tell she was mad, her face almost bright red, her eyes lazered in on his as she surveyed his work from her spot in front of the door.

He watched, stunned as she pushed the papers he had been working on off his desk.

"*This* is how you're going to spend the rest of the time that you have left?" She asked, furious. "On this?" She pushed a tray of vials on the floor, all of them shattering once they hit the ground. "And this?" A few beakers and more paperwork lined the floor next. He stood in awe then, trying to shield himself from the mess she was making. "This is just pieces of paper! Just glass!" She yelled, her emotions finally getting the better of her.

"Anna what are you doing!?" He yelled back, not expecting her to lash out like this.

She picked up a picture of Leo and Greenlee on their wedding day sitting on the desk and brought up to his face. "This is *real*" She pointed to the frame. "Your family. They're real. They care about you. What about them?"

"Anna please!"

"And what about me?"

"Don't do this…"

"And what about her…" She brought his hand to her stomach for emphasis. "Are you going to turn your back on her too?"

"There's nothing I can do!" He replied, pulling his hand away. "Anna you don't understand…"

"*I* do!" She yelled, not letting him interrupt her this time. "I know ok? I know that this sucks. It *sucks*. I know that the odds of you waking up from this surgery are slim but do you know what I say? I say *screw* the odds. The odds that I was going to ever get pregnant with our baby were slim. The odds that I would ever live through an explosion were slim, or that I would regain my memory were slim. This baby and I are living proof that the odds don't mean a damn thing. Screw the odds David."

"I can't do *this*!" He motioned the space between them. "I don't have it in me to fight this Anna. I just…can't."

"And I can't just sit back and watch you give up." She shook her head. "David I love you! Don't you understand that? God, I love you so much. And no amount of time or distance, or even a tumor that's the size of a softball is going to change that." She felt her tears spread softly down her face now. "I don't want you to die…"

He didn't hesitate when he went to her, wrapping his arms around her tightly, reveling in the way her hair brushed up against his cheek, in how her body still fit perfectly against his, as if they had never been apart. It broke his heart to see her upset, to know he was the cause of it but he reveled in the fact that she still loved him, and was willing to fight for him after everything he had put her through.

"I know, I know…" He soothed her then, her tears staining his shirt. "Shhh. I'm sorry. I know..." He murmured over and over, his arms rocking her gently, as if it would ease some of the pain.

"Please David…" She begged him, her voice a distant mumble from over his shoulder. He felt that feeling again, in the pit of his stomach at her words.

"You were right Anna." He nodded, still holding her tightly. "I *am* afraid. I ask people to put their life in my hand every time I operate but the thought of me doing the same thing…it terrifies me."

He felt her pull away, just slightly to look at him. He brushed the hair away from her face.

"You wouldn't be human if you weren't afraid of that." She tried to explain, sniffing away a few more tears, calmer now. "Anyone would be afraid of that…"

"Apart of me wants to just leave town and deal with this on my own." He told her honestly. "But then another part…" He stopped, choking back the lump in his own throat now. "Doesn't. I don't want to do this alone anymore Anna. I'm just so *tired*."

She pulled him back to her, her fingers getting lost in his hair. She had forgotten how much she had missed that, the feeling of his hair in her hands.

"You're not alone." She whispered. "I'm here now. You're not alone."

He couldn't explain it but a sense of relief flooded him then, whether it was her words or her touch he couldn't be sure but it opened up a way for him to be vulnerable, for the first time since he found out he was sick. He cried in her arms unashamedly after that, clutching her back as she held him tightly to her.

_Sometime Later_

He didn't know how long they had stood there, how long he had buried his head into her shoulder as the sobs came rolling over him, one after the other. All he knew was that he loved her for it. It had been the first time he had grieved for himself, for how unfair it all was, for what he would be missing.

When he pulled away, he felt her hands along his cheeks, brushing the remaining tears away. He thought he would feel embarrassed.

He didn't.

"It's ok." She reassured, giving him a small smile as he shook his head at what had just happened. "It is."

"I know." He nodded, catching sight of her stomach in between them. " God this was the last thing I wanted to do. I swore I would never do what my father did…leave a child in the world without his or her father…"

"This is entirely different and you know that…"

"I guess." He shrugged. "I guess…I…I'm just worried about my family, more than anything else. I don't want to hurt them. I've done that *enough*." He stressed, wanting her to know he really meant her in particular.

"Let me ask you something." She tilted her head. "What do you think is going to be easier for them? Watching you suffer? Not knowing when it's going to happen, and then possibly blaming themselves for not being there when it did?" She asked, her arms still around his waist. "Or having the chance to say goodbye, on both your parts? Of having the satisfaction of knowing that you did everything you could to stay alive for them?"

"Just the thought of them all standing in a waiting room…"

"*Together*?" She reminded him, her eyes warm and tender. "They at least would all be together David. To comfort each other. To support each other. Isn't that what you want for them? To be alright and have the chance to move on if you don't make it?"

"And what if I do come out of it and I'm comatose or paralyzed…"

"Then we'll cross that bridge when we come to it." She reassures.

He still didn't look convinced.

"I know this is an impossible decision but what are you going to do? Are going to listen to your head?" She touched his temple. "Which has a tumor growing inside of it, might I remind you…"

Anna grinned at the sound of his laugh, glad to have gotten the desired affect.

"Or are you going to listen to your heart?" She touched his chest with the same finger.

"In my heart is a…a very fierce love for you." He murmured honestly, wanting her to know that would never be in question.

"Then listen to it." She nodded, the words touching a piece of her own heart as well. A piece she thought she had ignored to the point of nothingness.

He paused for several seconds.

Then nodded his head silently.

"Ok." He said so softly she could barely hear. "Ok."

Her eyes widened.

"Ok?" She asked. "You'll do it? You'll have the surgery?"

He nodded again.

She flung herself around him, the tears from before returning, this time happy ones as she nuzzled her head into the crook of his shoulder.

He laughed softly at her reaction, bringing his arms around her.

"Really?" She made sure, her voice in his ear.

"Mmm hmm."

"You're not just saying this because you know it's what I want?"

"No." He responded. "I…I don't want to die either Anna. I really don't."

"And you're not going to." She pulled away to look at him again. "We're going to beat this David."

He caught sight of the mess on the floor.

"Well by the looks of things, you're the person for the job." He laughed, feeling her turn in his arms to see what he was looking at. "There's not a single vile I have left…you broke them all. If you're as tough on this tumor as you are on my lab results then I guess I don't have much to worry about."

She stifled a laugh of her own, her head on his shoulder.

"I mean it." She replied back. "We're going to face this. *Together*".

"Together." He repeated, taking both her hands and linking them. He brought them up to his lips, kissing her knuckles. "Together sounds good."

She gave him a long and satisfied smile and he was completely in awe of her in that moment. Not just for the fact that she single handily got him to change his whole outlook on his own life but that she had dropped everything to be by his side. That she was standing here, admitting she still loved him. It made all the difference in the world.

"I can't believe you're here..." He admitted, touching his forehead down to hers, getting lost in eyes he wanted to spend countless hours starring into. " God you're so beautiful. You're the most beautiful thing I have ever seen…"

This time when she blushed he could tell, and stopped her from turning her head and accepting the compliment.

"And *you*…" She started. "You look like hell you know." She replied, bringing out another laugh from him. She moved a hand to his hollowed out face. "You haven't been sleeping have you?"

He shook his head in a no.

"We'll that's all going to change." She told him, letting him know she wasn't going to let him not take care of himself. "You're going to start eating more too." She frowned. "It's not fair..." She mock pouted. "You've been losing weight and I've gained two pants sizes in the last six weeks."

"You're perfect." He purred, palming her belly. "Absolutely perfect."

"It's been really weird." She admitted, looking down. "Going through this pregnancy without you." She looked back up. "If I would have known you were this sick I would have come sooner…"

"Shh." He stopped her. "I know. I know you would have. But you're here now." He shrugs. "And it makes all the difference…believe me." He felt her palms along his chest. "I should have told you…

"Yes you should have." She agreed with a nod.

"I just didn't want to worry you. I thought it would be easier…" He stopped, not wanting to talk about it anymore, he just wanted to focus on her for a while. "But for the record I *was* going to come to Paris…before all of this happened." He pulled away briefly, finding his wallet in his back pocket. He opened it, pulling a plane ticket out of it and showing her. "See." He smiled, as she took it. "I didn't think I could take another minute of living here, like this, without you, but then I found out and…"

"You still kept the ticket." She replied, amazed, a part of her relieved that he hadn't given up on her either.

"I guess I thought I might change my mind." He smiled, weaving his arms around her waist slowly. "But you came to me first…"

He leaned in, and she waited in anticipation for what she knew would come next.

He kissed her, softly at first, so their lips touched briefly just once, then twice, then longer. After that, her palms found solace along his cheeks, pulling at his mouth for him to continue.

He reveled in the warmth of her body, his mind spinning, wondering if this was truly happening. As her hands traveled to his neck he realized just how much he missed her and how much her presence affected him, his life, everything.

As if reading his mind, she broke the kiss, her breath coming out in a gasp.

"I missed you." She whispered along his lips, her eyes still closed as he turned her. "God you have no idea…how much I missed you."

"I missed you too." He replied back, pressing her against the door now, his kisses short along her cheek then jaw, reaching her neck a second later. "I've been miserable…" He lingered a kiss along the bottom of her ear before finishing. "Without you."

She couldn't help it but she smiled, grateful for the fact they hadn't lost what they felt for each other, even after all this time.

"Make love to me." She breathed again, feeling the effects of his kisses now.

He lifted his head, gazing up at her, as if to make sure he heard her right.

"Are you sure?" He asked.

::God could he be any more adorable?:: She thought, nodding, her hand cupping his chin.

"I mean I don't…I don't want to hurt you. Or the baby…"

"Still my Sir Galahad I see." She smiled. "You won't. You couldn't." She soothed him. "But can we…" She started to ask, wondering now, if he could, given the circumstances.

He smiled back, which was all the answer she needed. She brought his mouth back to hers with her hand, feeling his arms already around her back, this time pushing the flaps of the coat away and tightening around her waist, his palms finding the skin underneath at her back.

She still didn't know what was going to happen, how they were going to get through this point in their lives but right now, now that he was kissing her, now that they were back together…it didn't matter. All that mattered was this, this night, and that they faced what came next together.


	7. Chapter 7

_Chapter 7_

If there was any moment, any day he wanted to stand still, this would have been the one. There had been so many mistakes, so many chances, each of them blown, but somehow, it didn't seem to matter now. None of it did.

For so long he had kept what he was feeling imprisoned inside of him, as if it was a type of poison, once unleashed it would just cause even more pain. He didn't think it would free him, would make him more self-aware, give him the courage to face the fear and come to trust it. It had been her, who had been able to heal him, at least in the only way that mattered.

From the inside out.

He would show her, tonight, just how much that meant to him. He would open himself up completely, he would give her everything he had, in all ways this time.

Anna felt her coat fall to the floor in a heap at her feet and smiled, her neck now a refuge for an endless array of his kisses. It had been so long since they had been together, the feeling was one of both familiarity and a giddy sense of anticipation for what was to come.

"What about the mess?"She breathed as he locked his arms around her, already pulling her towards the bedroom. She smiled as she heard the crack of the glass at her feet.

"What mess?" He half smiled back, letting her know it could wait. Till morning at least.

They made the few remaining steps to the door, kissing wildly, David struggling to get it open. They laughed over it, breathless, before savoring sweet kisses once more.

With the snow blowing into the window he laid her gently on the bed, already feeling her hands at the buttons of his shirt, freeing him from the material. Her face was flushed by then, her eyes wide with desire as he found the bottom of her own shirt, lifting it then up and over her head.

He had to remind himself to slow down, that she wouldn't vanish, that it wasn't a dream but just the sight of her, the paleness of her skin, almost as white as the sheets below her did nothing to steady his own heart rate. He brought his hand to her stomach, feeling the warmth of her body run along his palm as he admired the change in her body, in what they had created. He planted sweet, gentle kisses there, wondering if the baby could feel.

"You're trembling." She noticed, their bodies so close she could feel him. "Are you nervous?" She half joked.

She was surprised when he nodded his head yes.

"The baby will be fine." She smiled reassuringly, not expecting his reaction. "I promise." She whispered again for emphasis, her hands at his face, already pulling at him to kiss her.

Any doubts he had left were erased then as he felt her hands flatten at his back. In his mind he knew nothing could ruin this night...for either of them.

One by one an article of their clothing found itself on the floor, their hands both frantic to find more intimate places of flesh to explore. Soon his mouth would travel, causing her to squirm on the bed in ecstasy before they finally joined together in a way that was as old as time, as perfect as any other night before it.

She knew she would never forget the look on his face as he held her then, as they moved in unison with one another, his eyes almost in awe of the fact that she was really here, and that she wouldn't leave him, ever. It was when the end came did she break his gaze, her body seemingly shattering into his before collapsing to the bed in a tired yet satisfied state. He joined her mere seconds later, his lips hot on her shoulder as he struggled to catch his breath.

She smiled, her arms almost limp as they wrapped around him in utter contentment.

_Sometime Later_

The snow was still falling, the wind having calmed, just as they were now, settled into bed together on this cold Christmas Eve. He lost himself in her arms, trying, and failing to keep his tired eyes open as he listened to the soft sound of her voice, of the steady beating of her heart against his ear. He smiled as he felt her hands through his hair, tangling it up in small tuffs.

"I'm going to go bald." He teased, planting a loving kiss just below her collarbone, lingering there as he inhaled the soft smell of her perfume, the real thing better than any old t-shirt stuffed in a closet.

"You have too much hair to go bald." She teased back, smiling, pulling at his hair in larger strands affectionately.

"You never know."

"We should start heading to bed." She yawned after several seconds, wondering what time it was, and realizing it was six hours later in Paris. "Your brother mentioned something about Christmas dinner at the loft with your family. They were going to open Christmas gifts…"

"I've already opened mine." He countered, referring to her perfect form in his arms. If he never got a single present more for Christmas he wouldn't care, she would be enough, all that he really needed.

"I don't count." She smirked at his reference. "You get me all year round. C'mon." She scratched the back of his head. "I know you're more tired then you're letting on. Let's go to bed."

"No Anna…" He stopped her, his voice hushed as he tightened his grip around her. "Please? Just a little longer?"

She looked down at him, in her arms, in eyes that were tender and loving, almost grateful. How could she say anything but yes?

"Alright." She sighed, lying back down on the pillows, feeling him return to his spot along the curve of her neck as they lie side by side, facing each other, her chin propped up by the top of his head. "What do you want to talk about?"

"Tell me about Paris, about the baby…about Robin." He yawned himself this time. "Anything. " He asked, not caring, as long as he could hear the sound of her voice.

"I had an ultrasound done." She smiled, knowing he would want to hear about that. "Robin went with me and I saw our baby."

"Was she beautiful? What did she look like?" He asked quickly, wishing he could have been there.

::*She*. I guess we've both decided that it's a girl, hmm David?::

"She was perfect. They're so much more detailed now then when I was pregnant the first time. You could even see each individual finger. It was amazing."

"Why didn't you find out the sex?"

"I guess…I don't know. I guess that part didn't seem right…without you." She shrugs. "It was hard, to not think of you...this baby kept you constantly on my mind."

"I'm sorry I wasn't there Anna." He looked up, his eyes again telling her that he meant it. "For the morning sickness, the sleepless nights…I should have been. I wasn't."

"You're here now." She reminded him, kissing him gently on the mouth. "That's all that matters. And she hasn't started kicking yet, which is the best part."

He nodded, his hand along her stomach now, as if the baby was going to kick right then and there. David returned to his spot alongside her, this time keeping his hand exactly where it was.

"What about cravings?" He asked again in another yawn.

She crinkled her nose, remembering all the looks Robin had given her when she brought home foods that shouldn't have gone together.

"Well let's see…chocolate cupcakes topped with parmesan cheese, pickles dipped in vanilla ice cream…" She tried to think of more. "I'm still craving watermelon and root beer, and one week I only ate Chicken quesadillas, breakfast, lunch, and dinner."

"That's absolutely disgusting Anna." He replied, making no attempt to hide the look, which for some reason mirrored Robin's, at the thought of what she had been eating.

"You asked." She laughed. "But I'm sure there will be more."

"I'm really sorry baby." He murmured to her stomach. "I hope you like all that stuff. Luckily your dads a pretty decent cook so you should be getting good meals in you really soon…"

"Hey she's the one that's been craving cookies and steak sauce, not me."

"We'll just let mom believe what she wants ok?" He smiled as he got another playful tug from her hands in his hair, this time at the back of his neck. "Anything else?" He asked. "Maybe we won't need a garbage disposal throughout the rest of your pregnancy…"

"You're just so funny." She played along.

"I'm just amazed you could find half that stuff in Paris. What with their famous cuisine and all."

"Oh God the food there *was* incredible." She nodded. "Robin and I would walk down to this bakery that was just a few blocks from where her apartment was, and you could just smell the fresh bread from across the street." She remembered. "She would always get a mocha latte and I had hot tea and we would sit and drink it there, watching the people as they made their way to work or to school. Sometimes we would split a pastry." Anna smiled.

::I'm going to miss that.:: She thought, wondering what Robin was doing that very moment. ::Those mornings at breakfast.::

"When you're better we should go back to Paris." She told him. "And I'll show you… David?"

She looked down, finally realizing that he was fast asleep in her arms.

"It's alright." She murmured softly, leaning down to kiss the top of his head. "Just sleep." She told him, her arms wrapping themselves around his neck, as she yawned in complete contentment.

"I love you. I'm here now." She closed her own eyes. "I've got you and I won't let go this time."


	8. Chapter 8

_Chapter 8_

_Christmas Day_

Slowly, almost delicately, she felt herself stir, her eyes still closed as she tried to fight the feeling and return to the peacefulness that was sleep. The light in the room was so blinding however, she couldn't keep her eyes open and after several long seconds they finally fluttered to life.

She had felt the warmth from his body long before she caught sight of him lying there, his left arm draped over her loosely while his right supported her neck with his bicep. She smiled then, inching herself closer, their legs still entangled as she brought a hand up to curve his cheek.

"Hey." She whispers, his breathing steady as he barely noticed her touch. "Wake up. David. Hey."

His nose crinkled but he finally opened his eyes lazily, her form blurry at first but finally coming into view. He smiled, his arm around her waist already pulling her even closer.

::She's here.:: He thought happily. ::Last night was real.::

"Hey." He whispered back.

"Merry Christmas." She smiled again, crooning her neck up to kiss him, her fingertips along his jaw line, noticing the stubble there.

"Merry Christmas." He replied back, feathering a hand through her long brown hair. "What…what time is it?" He asked, noticing the sunlight reflect off the brightness of the snow. He squinted, the headache not as intense had it had been on previous mornings.

"Uh…" She checked the clock on the nightstand and smiled. "Well, it's about one thirty."

"You're kidding." He eyed her, genuinely surprised. "I can't remember the last time I slept longer than about four hours."

"Well we didn't sleep *all* night long." She teased him. "But it's good you finally caught up on some. You don't look quite as tired as you did last night."

"I fell asleep on you, didn't I?" He asked, barely remembering what she had said the night before, knowing he had fallen asleep to her voice only.

"Mmm hmm." She nodded, letting him know with her eyes she hadn't really minded.

"I haven't slept that well in months." He told her, rubbing the side of her shoulder that the blankets failed to cover.

"Neither have I." She admitted, grateful to have her owe bed back. She tucked her hand under her pillow, feeling her fingers brush up against what she thought was another pillow. She pulled the fabric out from underneath her. "What's this?" She asked, her grey t-shirt balled up in her hand.

His gaze drifted to what she had in her hands as he remembered the night before last.

"Oh yeah…" He watched as she unwrapped it. "I forgot about that."

"This was…*is* mine." She corrected herself, recognizing it. "I don't remember putting this on last night…"

"You didn't." He took it from her. "I…uh…well you left it here and I…it helped me sleep sometimes." He shrugged, avoiding her gaze in half embarrassment. "It smelled like you…"

She smiled at his answer, already pulling him back to her.

"You slept with my old t-shirt?" She teased. "How *adorable*." She watches him as he rolls his eyes. "But if you tell me it fits *you* now I really might have to kill myself."

"I didn't wear it." He slapped her arm with it, laughing along with her before accepting another one of her kisses.

"I know." She smiled when he pulled away, her gaze having a far off look as she remembered something. "Do you remember that Columbia shirt you had?" She asked him as they returned to their spots on the bed. "The one with the red stripes?"

He nodded.

"I told myself it had gotten into my suitcase by accident." She smirked. "And sometimes, at night, I'd pull that shirt around me, hating myself for missing you as much as I did." She looked down.

"Now who's *adorable*?" He quipped back.

"Shut up." She smiled.

" You know for a minute there last night I…I thought I had dreamed you."

"I'm real." She reassured, closing her eyes as he played with her hair.

"You have no idea…" He started, amazed at what he was saying, trying to remember the last time he allowed himself to be this vulnerable with anyone. "How many nights I dreamt of what this would feel like. Having you in my arms again. Having you back in my life again." He continued, wanting her to know this wasn't just about saving his life but about bringing love back into it as well.

"And?" She smiled, her eyes back open.

"It feels even better than how I imagined it." He leaned over, kissing her again.

"Hmm." She replied back in contentment. "I dreamt about this too you know." She omitted in return. "I tried not to, given the fact that I didn't really think it would be possible but…" She shrugs. "But when your heart wants what it wants…there really isn't a way to turn back is there?" She watches as he shakes his head in agreement. "I tried so hard…to stop loving you."

"How'd you make out?"

"Terribly." She smirked, his eyes almost gleeful as they starred back at her, before leaning down to capture her mouth in a slow and languishing kiss.

They had made love again but not as urgently as the night before. He knew she wouldn't disappear, wouldn't fade in his mind this time and because of that fact he took his time as he lost himself within her body.

_Sometime Later_

Afterwards they rested in silence, their breathing steady, their bodies sedated.

"Will you promise me something?" He asked her, breaking the moment as his mind retreated back to where it always seemed to be as of late.

"What is it?" She asked, lifting her head from his shoulder.

"The…the next few weeks, they're not going to be easy." He told her, wanting to prepare her somehow. "Lots of tests, medical jargon…and the legal stuff, finalizing my will, saying my goodbyes…"

"Please don't talk like that David." She hushed him. "Like you're going to die."

"Anna…" He took one of her hands. "I know you're hopeful, about this surgery, and I'm not trying to take that away from you but…" He sighed. "There is a very real chance, a very good chance that something could go wrong."

"I know." She nodded, pulling away from him, bringing the sheets around her as she sat at the edge of the bed. She had wanted to forget for a while longer, the real reason why she had come back, the reason why she was lying so perfectly in his arms. "I know that." She repeated again, her back now facing him as she tried to convince herself that she actually believed the words.

"Do you?" He asked, moving up, putting a hand to her back. "Because if this is too hard for you, too difficult…"

"I'm not leaving you David." She interrupted him, her face turning slightly towards him in profile.

He smiled in spite of the seriousness of the conversation. Slowly he moved further along the bed, his arms wrapping themselves around her from behind, his hands finding the top of her belly.

"And I don't want you to leave." He whispered, nuzzling his chin along her shoulder, grateful when she didn't pull away, that she backed into him in return. "*Ever*. I know this isn't going to be easy but I just want to make sure everything is taken care of before the surgery…just in case."

He felt her nod in his arms.

"And I want you to promise me something." He kept going, kissing her shoulder now. "I told myself that if you ever came back I would never lie to you again." She felt another kiss. "And I'm going to do that Anna, you deserve so much more but it's something I've regretted ever since you walked out that door." He admitted. "But I want you to do the same thing for me. I don't want you burying all this stuff down because you feel like you need to be brave for me or strong, or whatever…I want you to tell me when this is feeling too…real. When it's scary. When you're mad, or frustrated." He finally looked at her. "Can you do that for me? I don't want what could be the last few weeks of my life to be living a lie."

She finally turned in his arms after several long seconds and he could tell she was fighting back tears. The thought of him dying scarred her, that he could see in her eyes. She nodded slowly.

"Ok." She murmured, her voice a little shaky. "I promise."

He kissed her temple.

"I have every reason to fight this Anna." He reassured her, wanting her to know this didn't mean he was giving up. "I have you." He rubbed her stomach. "I have this baby. My family. You reminded me of all that last night." He told her. "This isn't me giving up. I won't do that."

"Promise?"

"I promise." He smiled, feeling her lie her head back onto his shoulder. "Everything is going to be ok. I don't know how yet. But everything is going to be alright."


	9. Chapter 9

_Chapter 9_

_Christmas Day 5:00PM_

They had showered together, thinking it would give them more time to get ready before heading over to Leo and Greenlee's for Christmas dinner. After several minutes of kissing, his hands replacing the trail of water as it cascaded down her back, Anna was the one who finally had to push him away, laughing with shampoo running down her neck as she accused him of being a leech. He really couldn't argue, he thought with a smile of his own.

As he got out of the shower, a towel around his waist, he took a good look at himself in the mirror. Despite needing a shave and maybe a good tan, his reflection half surprised him as he noticed the slight twinkle back in his eyes and the flush in his cheeks. It had been the first time in months he didn't look tired enough to pass out on the floor.

He had never been a firm believer in the idea of moral support and had very rarely preached about it to his patients in the past. But after these last 24 hours, with Anna now by his side, he was starting to reconsider just how much it meant to have someone in his corner. David grabbed the can of shaving cream from the medicine cabinet, his razor already in his other hand as he started to get ready for the evening ahead of them.

As if the disease somehow knew his every thought, he felt the tips of his fingers as they started to grow numb. His eyes widened and he wasn't surprised when a few seconds later his hands began to shake violently. He gripped the edge of the sink for support, waiting, hoping, that the tremors would subside as quickly as they came. This hadn't been the first time it had happened and probably wouldn't be the last.

"David can you hand me a towel?" She asked him, turning the knob of the shower off. She pushed the curtain away, her hand outstretched expecting him to hand her one. When she saw him at the other end of the bathroom, clutching the side of the counter, his breathing labored, she was instantly at his side.

"What's wrong?" She asked, her wet hand along his arm as she fearfully starred at him shaking.

"It's alright." He bit out, his teeth clenched. In his mind he knew he needed to relax but it scarred him to think the trembling would start to encompass his arms, or worse...he might have another seizure. "It'll stop." He nodded. "It just takes a few minutes."

"I should call your doctor…" She turned towards the door.

"No." He said louder than he intended. "He knows. There's nothing else I can do but wait it out." He finished, his tone softer this time as he looked at her through the reflection of the mirror, her worried eyes matching his own.

"What can I do?" She asked, hating the helpless feeling that was beginning to form in the pit of her stomach. This was the first time she had really seen how this disease was taking a hold of him, leaving him to feel just as helpless.

"Go get a towel." He smiled for the first time, trying to lighten the mood. "You're soaking wet."

She smiled back at him but inhaled rather than exhaled, turning around to grab a towel as he suggested.

Anna had waited with him, standing in the bathroom as the tremors finally subsided. Only then did he unclasp his fingers from around the edges of the bathroom counter, before finally collapsing on the toilet seat next to the sink.

He closed his eyes, letting a breath of relief out as he flexed his fingers a few times. The numbing feeling was still there, and usually lasted longer than the attack, which thankfully he could handle.

"Better?" She asked, kneeling in front of him now, still only wrapped in a dark green towel.

"Yeah." He breathed, nodding his head. He looked at her. "Sorry." He replied, feeling awful for having frightened her.

"What for?" She asked, running a hand along his cheek.

"It looks worse than it really is." He tried to soothe.

"Are you in any pain when…*that* happens?"

He shook his head no.

"I just can't control my hands." He told her. "They feel numb afterwards but no, no pain."

"Are they numb now?" She asked, taking his hands in hers slowly, lying her palms flat along his.

He smiled, grateful at the fact that she wasn't afraid to touch him. A part of him wanted to lie and tell her no, that he was fine.

But then he remembered the promises they had just made.

"Yes." He answered, her eyes turning from his hands back to his face in realization. He sighed. "I told you...this was going to get real…"

She leaned into him, stopping him from saying anything more by feeding him a kiss.

"I don't scare easy remember?" She murmured, pulling away.

He smiled.

"Do you still want to go to Leo's?" She asked him, wondering now if it was such a good idea.

He nodded his head quickly, his eyes hinting to the fact that being with his family tonight was something he was looking forward to and didn't want to miss.

"I…uh…" He looked down sheepishly. "Might need a little help…getting ready." His eyes turned towards the razor at the edge of the sink. "Do you think you could…?"

"Use this?" She asked, her hands already picking up the plastic of the handle. She grinned. "Do you trust me Hayward?"

"I guess I don't have much of a choice." He laughed, watching her get up off of the floor to grab the can of shaving cream, glad the tension from before was beginning to lift from the room.

"Well that's reassuring." She rolled her eyes, leaving him alone in the bathroom to grab a stool from the bedroom.

Anna came back with one, setting it down in front of him. She turned the water on in the sink, feeling it with her fingers as it slowly grew to the temperature she wanted, before grabbing a towel to lie along her lap.

"Have you…." He cleared his throat. "Done this before?"

"Nope."

"Ok then." He smiled as she squeezed the can in her hands, watching as it foamed in her palms before he felt it along his cheeks, then neck, then smeared over his mouth.

They laughed over it before she patted her hands on the towel, getting rid of the remaining cream before using her thumb to reveal his lips.

"There." She smiled, taking the razor in her right hand. She couldn't believe he was letting her do this. She tilted her head quizzically. "Up? Or…" She motioned with the blade. "Down?"

"Down." He nodded, wondering now how many pieces of toilet paper he would need to cover up the red spots he was sure he was going to have.

"Ok." She breathed, the tip of the sharp edge now along his right cheek by his ear.

He felt the first stroke of the cool blade as it ran along his skin, watching her face as she intently focused on him.

David sat mesmerized then, inwardly smiling at her concentrated stare, as she rhythmically shaved one strip of skin after another, every now and then running the tip of the blade along the steady stream of water in the sink. He stifled a laugh as he revealed his upper lip for her to erase the beginnings of his moustache before making her way to the other side of his face.

"Ready?" She asked, this time at the bottom of his neck, the blade in place for her to take care of his jaw line. He nodded and she continued, going in the same direction as she had before, this time flicking the razor upward slowly, so as to not nick his skin in the process.

"There." She smiled, finishing him off by taking the towel in her lap and wiping the excess shaving cream away from his face, most noticeably his ears and the creases of his nose. She grabbed a mirror from the shelf near the sink and brought it up for him to see, watching as he fingered his chin, using the back of his hand to feel one lovely cheek. "What do you think? Close enough?"

He eyed her, a slow impressed smile spreading across his face.

"You tell me."

She smiled back, leaning in farther as she let her cheek brush up against his, feeling the softness there as they pulled away.

"Feels pretty good to me." She nodded as his gaze met hers again.

This time it was David that leaned over to kiss her, his forehead touching hers lightly.

"Thank you." He whispered in between kisses, meaning it, not just for the shave but for being with him as he dealt with the daily struggles of living with an illness he could not control.

"You're welcome." She said in return, accepting the kisses. "Men have it so easy…try shaving your legs everyday and tell me how fun that is." She smiled. "But I still expect a good tip…"

He laughed and shook his head, watching as she got up from the stool. He grabbed the towel she had used earlier, flicking at her hip with it before she could move away, glad the numbness in his fingers was already subsiding.

"I think I can think of a few ways to tip a job well done." He winked.

Once back in the bedroom they hurried to get dress, Anna pulling one thing after another from her suitcase, trying to figure out what she wanted to wear.

"Even Paris doesn't make stylish maternity clothes, do you know that?" She told him, not bothering to look up as he dug through the closet to find a pair of khaki pants.

"You still have some stuff in here." He offered.

::That fit me four months ago when I wasn't a blimp David:: She thought, rolling her eyes, her hand hitting the side of a small box a the bottom of her bag. "What the hell…"

"What is it?' He popped his head from outside the closet door.

He watches as she pulls out a small yellow gift from the rubble of clothing. His heart sank.

"Anna…" He tilted his head. "Do not tell me you got me something for Christmas…" He shook his head. "Because I didn't….I didn't think you would be…"

"It's not for you…"She shook her head. "I…I didn't get you anything either." She smiled, recognizing what was in her hands. "It's for the baby. From Robin." She looked up at him as he took a few steps towards the bed. "She must have snuck this into my bag when I was trying to pack…"

"Open it." He suggested, his eyes lit on the package in her hands.

She eyed him, debating on whether she should now, or wait to open it later.

"Alright." She tore at the paper. "I saw this under the tree and was wondering what it was…"

David watched as she flipped the lid open, pulling out a small stuffed animal with a santa hat on, from the bottom of the box. His brow furrowed as she read the note attached.

_~To the littlest Tigger in the family. Love your big sis.~_

"Tigger?"

"I'm going to kill her." She replied, smiling even as she said the words.

"Why?" He smiled back, knowing she was only joking. "Does it mean something…?"

"You just never mind." She pointed back at him, curious as to when Aidan had told Robin that story….

::Oh my God Aidan!:: She thought, forgetting all about the nephew she had not seen in at least four months, half wondering if maybe Leo would mind if he stopped by dinner this evening, and if David would at least behave long enough to not start a fight with him before dessert. ::I'll call Leo, then hopefully Aidan, from the car.:: She told herself, setting *tigger* down on the bed. ::And then Robin when we get home. That little…::

"You know he is kinda cute." David smiled, interrupting her thoughts, grabbing the little guy in his hands. "I bet it becomes the baby's favorite." He challenged, not sure what significance the gift had but wanting to get a rise out of her anyway.

"Bite your tongue." She teased back, already back to riffling through the suitcase again.

"Alright…" He said in a singsong voice, his arms wrapping around her waist from behind. He held the animal up to her face for emphasis. "I guess I'll just have to call Robin and find out for myself…"

"You will do no such thing…"

He spun her in his arms, so that they could face each other, his look turning from playful to serious now.

"I am sorry Anna." He said, feeling her arms around his shoulders.

"What ever for?"

"For the fact that coming to me meant leaving Robin in Paris." He answered apologetically. "I know much it must have meant to you, to spend the holidays together this year…"

"It's ok." She shrugged.

"No." He shook his head, feathering a hand through her hair. "It's not" He kissed her. "I just want you to know that…it means, God, so much to me that you dropped practically everything, including time with Robin, to be here with me."

"That's what you do when you love someone." She smiled, rising on tiptoes to kiss him back.

"My brother had been right. To come to you." He realized. "I do need you, and not just because of all of this…" He pointed towards his head. "I've always needed you." He admitted. "And if I make it though this…"

"*When* you make it through this." She corrected him.

"*When* I make it through this…" He repeated. "The first place we're going is Paris. The next time though…" He smiled, waggling his eyebrows at her. "We go *together*."

"Deal." She laughed, kissing him again, wondering if they would ever get enough of each other. After several long moments, they finally pulled away.

"You know what?" She sighed.

"What?"

"We're never going to make it to your brother's…"

He just laughed then, taking a peak at the clock. They were already forty five minutes late.

::Better late than never Anna.:: He thought. ::Better late than never.::


	10. Chapter 10

_Chapter 10_

_1421 Plumtree Road_

"I was fine to drive you know…" He protested as they walked through the elevator doors leading up to the Du Pres' loft. "I'm not even numb anymore…at least not in my fingers anyway…" He grinned, placing a hand to her back affectionately. "Besides you're pregnant and…"

"Yeah *pregnant*." She gave him a soft glare. "Not incompetent. I can drive David…"

"Yes I'm very aware of that." He agreed, feeling the elevator car as it started to rise. "I'm also aware of your driving skills and how they seem to…." He searched for the right words. "*Change* as you talk on your cell phone…"

"For your information my driving is perfect." She lightly scolded him. "And how else was I suppose to invite Aidan? If I would have given you the phone, you just would have hung up on the first ring."

"Me?" He placed a palm to his breast pocket in mock surprise. "I would do no such thing."

"Yeah." She rolled her eyes, the doors opening then. "Riight." She stopped them just outside the front door. "Promise me you'll be nice to him? I haven't seen him in what feels like forever and it is Christmas you know…"

He took her hands in his, warming them instantly as he rubbed them together.

"I promise to be a perfect gentleman." He swore to her, genuinely meaning it. After all the trouble she had gone through to be here, the least he could do was be nice to her nephew.

::Besides.:: He thought with a sly smile. ::It could be worse. My mother could be in there instead of wrapped up in a straight jacket. Plus, it'll only be for a couple of hours. Then we can go back to the cabin, get a fire going...::

"David?" She questioned. "Did you hear me?"

"No…sorry." He stammered sheepishly, feeling her take his hand in hers.

"I said are you ready?" She asked again, wondering where his mind had been.

"I think so." He nodded a bit nervously, wondering where the conversations of this evening were going to lead. He hoped they would not focus on his illness too much, that Maggie would still want to speak to him, and that no mention of Maria Grey would escape a single person's lips.

That was about as close to an answer, Anna realized, that she was going to get. She squeezed his hand lightly in return, before tapping on the door.

"Alright guys this is probably them…" Leo said, trying to whisper from the other side of the door. "Remember, just try and make easy conversation ok? Don't ask David about the surgery, or say anything to upset Anna. Everyone clear?" He watched as both his cousin and brother nodded from their places on the couch, his wife giving him a look that said, 'they're not stupid.' He put his hand on the knob of the door, pulling it open.

"Heeey guys." He grinned, enveloping first Anna in a hug, then David. "We weren't sure you guys were going to make it."

"Yeah…" David flustered a little, trying not to think of the majority of the day spent in bed with Anna. He smiled none the less at the look she was sending him, which was equally amused.

"Did you get caught up in all the snow?" His brother asked.

"Yeah…" Anna nodded, giving David a wink. "Snow."

"Well we're just really glad you guys could make it." Greenlee stepped in, greeting them with even more hugs. She took the bag of presents David handed her. "I'll go put these under the tree."

"What do you want to drink?" Leo asked next, over the small crowd gathered around the couple as they both greeted Maggie then Trey. "David you want a beer?"

"No thanks." David patted his stomach. "I'm trying to cut back." He lied, knowing the brew wouldn't mix with the medication he was taking.

"Anna?" Leo smiled. "I hope you're not drinking hard liquor but…" He stopped as they all laughed at him. "How about some water?"

"Water would be great Leo thank you." She replied, her arm still around Maggie as they stood in the living room. Truth be told she had missed her, and didn't want to waste anytime in catching up on medical school, Bianca, and whatever else she had missed while she had been in Paris. "So…Maggie…" She started as they sat on the couch together, Trey and David already talking about some basketball game they had watched together last week. "What's new with you? How's school going?"

Anna waited for her to respond, wondering why she was just starring at her.

"Do I have something on my face?" She teased, her mouth lifting into a smile.

"No." Maggie shook her head, bringing her hands to her own face in embarrassment. "Sorry…Anna…I just…I can't believe you're here."

"I know." Anna nodded in return, propping an elbow to the back of the couch so she could rest her head along her hand. "It's all a bit surreal, isn't it?"

"Maybe a little." She smirked back. "But it's good that you're here. I'm glad that you are." She admitted, her eyes now focusing on Anna's stomach. "Wow you are *really* pregnant." She said without thinking.

Anna let out a laugh then, knowing what she meant, not taking any offense to the comment.

"Sorry…that came out wrong." She blushed. "Has he…or she…has the baby started kicking yet?"

"No, not yet, but it should be soon." She felt a tap on her arm, Leo handing her a glass of water. "Thank you."

With Leo and Greenlee now sitting amongst them, they all sat, starring at each other, waiting for someone to pick a topic to discuss. As if on cue, they all started a conversation at once.

"So…"

"When are you due Anna?"

"David do you get tomorrow off?"

"Is it suppose to snow later on tonight?"

Anna snuck David a look as they became bombarded with questions they couldn't possibly answer.

"Alright you guys…" David was the first to speak. "What's going on?"

"Nothing…"

"What are you talking about?"

"Just trying to make conversation…."

He shook his head at the response, not able to tell who said what.

"Subtle." He smirked, clasping his hands together. " And almost convincing but I know you all…" He pointed to Leo. "Especially you. So why don't you just say whatever it is that's on your mind."

The family paused, looking to Leo for direction, wondering how they should handle this delicate situation. A feeling of relief passed through Maggie as he watched Leo clear his throat. They became silent.

"Well David the thing is…" He started, looking down to his feet first. "We were all sort of wondering if…" He looked up. "If you've decided on what you wanted to do? About the surgery…?"

::Well that didn't take long.:: David took a breath. ::As if I didn't already know where this was going.::

"Do you want to tell them?" He turned to Anna, sitting next to him, seeming to be equally as entertained by his family's behavior as he was.

"I think you should tell them." She looped a hand under his arm.

"Well Leo…" He started off. "Even though I have no idea what went through your thick skull. To book a flight to Paris, the night before Christmas Eve, then spend another six hour flight back here to just to help me….for once I am speechless." He smiled, wrapping an arm around Anna. "But I will say, you do pick good people."

"What can I say?" Leo smiled back, liking what he was hearing so far.

"So?" Trey asked, wishing David would just end their curiosity and tell them already.

"So, after some good convincing…which I desperately needed…." He took another breath. "I've changed my mind. I'm going to go through with it. I'm going to have the surgery."

It sounded like a mini explosion within the loft as the family erupted in laughter and cheers, some clapping, and then of course, more hugging. When Leo reached Anna, she smiled as he whispered in her ear.

"Thanks Anna. I'll never forget this. Ever." He pulled away, his look grateful before turning to the rest of the crowd. "I think this calls for some champagne eh?"

They cheered again at the suggestion of more alcohol, and again Leo went back into the kitchen for the glasses and bottle.

"Listen David…" Greenlee finally chimed in once everyone was seated again. "I just wanted to…I can't believe I'm saying this…I just wanted to apologize for, well, outing you last night." She told him earnestly. "I had no right to do that. And Maggie, I'm sorry for the fact that you had to find out that way…in front of everyone…"

"I think it's safe to say we all made some mistakes here." David replied back, his eyes first on Greenlee then Maggie, in his gaze there was also an apology, for not telling his cousin sooner. "So I think we can all move past it and start over. Right?"

They all nodded in response, as Leo came back out with the champagne.

"So…" Trey looked up from his spot on the floor in front of the coffee table. "At the risk of prying into your personal life…" He pointed towards David and Anna. "What about you two? Does this mean you're back together?"

"You can answer this one." David eyed her, sharing the highlight of the evening now with a grin at not having to answer this himself.

"Thanks." She shot back.

"Well are you?" Greenlee asked, not letting Anna get away without answering. "I'm not going to let this go." She warned, smiling.

"Yes." Anna nodded, wondering if her smile gave away just how truly happy she was. "We're back together."

Amongst another round of cheers and laughter, she turned toward David, accepting a loving kiss from him in return, a small smile still pinned to her face as she look into his eyes, not at all surprise by the joy she found in his gaze as well.

_The Cabin, a few hours later_

"I love your brother but between the turkey and all the rest of the food he tried to feed us I thought I was going to gain an extra ten pounds." She sighed as they made their way in from the cold, Anna already taking her shoes off as she sat on the couch. "And Trey cheats at scrabble...." She points back to him, smiling. "I don't care what he said, _bazinga_ is not a word."

"He got fourteen points with that one…" He reminded her, laughing along the way. "And without a dictionary it's hard to argue with the lawyer in the family. I'll go put these in the fridge." He held up the leftovers he had in his hands.

In truth he had enjoyed himself at his brothers, even with Aidan's glaring looks after dessert and during the rest of the evening. For the first time he felt a sense of normalcy as it crept back into his life. Having Anna with him had made it easier but then again it seemed she was making his life a lot easier to deal with these days.

His family spoke little about David's illness, which he appreciated, and focused more on Anna's return and the baby more than anything else, making it all the more real that in a few moths they…*she* would be holding their son or daughter in her arms. He had so wanted to be apart of his child's life, but he might not ever understand why it would never come to be.

He made his way back into the living room and after starting a hearty fire in the hearth finally gazed up at her, wanting to curse himself mentally as soon as he did.

The divorce papers.

David had forgotten to put them away, put them in a drawer, anywhere other than where he had left them. He watched in semi horror as she leafed through them, one by one.

"Anna…" He got up from the floor, his hand out stretched, wishing she hadn't seen them again. He didn't want anything to ruin what had been such a perfect day. "I had forgotten…"

"When did they come?" She asked, the papers still in her hands as she looked up. He could tell she felt guilty and could see it in her eyes.

"A few days ago." He shrugged. "Here…" He tried again to reach them.

"I…" She looked down sheepishly. "I felt awful, filing for them…" She looked up. "I still do. Feel awful…I mean, here you've been, trying to live with an illness that could potentially kill you and then you get these in the mail…"

"Anna." He sighed, finally taking her hand in his. He led her towards the fire he had just made for them before sitting next to her on the floor. "I don't blame you…for divorcing me, for leaving…for anything." He told her honestly, wanting to erase the apologetic look in her eyes. "What exactly were you suppose to do? At that point, all the plans we had made for a future were gone once…once I lied to you about Maria…" He finished, looking down to the wooden floor.

The name hung between them for a few seconds before she finally spoke up.

"I know. I know all of that I just…" She shrugged. "It just felt like I was giving up… when those paper were finally drawn up." She eyed him slyly. "And you know that I *never* give up."

"I know." He laughed softly. "But you didn't…give up." He took a piece of her hair that clung to her cheek, letting his fingers slide down the strand slowly before tucking it back. "You wouldn't be here if you had."

"It doesn't change the fact that these are real." She held up the papers in her right hand. "It doesn't change the past."

He let her words sink in.

"Does it really matter Anna? They're just pieces of paper aren't they?" He leaned in, allowing himself a moment to inhale the soft scent of her perfume before his lips found her neck. He trailed a few kisses down to her shoulder, smiling only when her faced revealed a smile first. "And it's all just a label, those papers…they don't encompass touch, or taste, or love, or forgiveness…they don't change anything." He reaffirmed, his cheek brushing up against hers softly. "What I feel for you. What we feel for each other. What's between us." He whispers. "And this feeling, right here, right now, it's as real to me as those same papers in your hand, and nothing will ever convince me otherwise." He smiled again. "It doesn't matter. Does it?"

He waited another several seconds for her answer.

"No." She replied, her voice equally soft. "It doesn't. It…it didn't replace the ache in my heart from missing you. It didn't mean I loved you any less." She shook her head. "It didn't fix anything. It just tore more holes into a relationship that was already hurting. Already broken…"

"Broken." He nodded, agreeing with her. "But not destroyed. It can be fixed, can change…can mold into something better than what it was before." He pulled away to look at her. "You showed me that last night. That there is a chance to heal, for *me* to heal. We have that same chance Anna. We can heal too."

She smiled at him.

"I think we already are."

"I *know* we are." He smiled at her in return, grateful for the fact that the issue of divorce wasn't going to obliterate the progress that they had already made. "So I guess there's just one more thing left to do…"

"Like what?" She eyed him suspiciously, her tone playful.

"Like getting rid of these." He pulled the paper from her hands. "Care to do the honors?" He held half of the stack in her direction, implying that she be the one to rip them apart.

"I think it should be a joint effort don't you?" She challenged, amused at the suggestion.

"On three then."

"Alright."

"One…"

"Two…"

"Three."

David watched with a sense of relief as the stack split crookedly in two. Even though he knew technically, *legally*, they still weren't married, it also meant that the subject of their divorce wouldn't be at the forefront of both their minds for the rest of the time he did have left. The last thing he wanted was to be reminded of the pain, all the hurt he caused her, which resulted in the divorce in the first place.

He smiled when she threw her half in the fire, her face a reflection of flames dancing around in the hearth as they soaked up the newly added energy, allowing the shadows to flicker along her features.

He followed her, throwing the remaining pieces in as well, watching them burn. For several seconds they sat in silence, mesmerized by the fire before he felt her form inch closer to his, her head finally hitting his shoulder.

David wrapped his arm around her as they both starred back at the wood burning, cleansing the room of their past mistakes, and in the morning would leave nothing but the remaining ash behind.


	11. Chapter 11

_Chapter 11_

_The Cabin, The Next Day, 6AM_

He crinkled his eyes in confusion, the blaring alarm on the nightstand bringing him out of a deep sleep. A part of him wanted to ignore the constant beeping, turn over, wrap his arms around Anna and fall right back asleep until noon.

But then he remembered.

::The doctor's appointment.:: He thought, his eyes still closed. ::The one I was going to skip…::

In part, he still did want to. To pretend that everything was as normal as it was before he ever had to worry about doctor's appointments, and test results and brain surgery…

The feel of her arm reaching over him brought him out of his haze as she flipped the button to shut the sound off. Slowly she brought her hand back, flattening it out over his chest as she snuggled up closer to him in the dark.

"Please don't tell me you have an early morning shift." She pouted sleepily, letting out a yawn. "It's so early…"

He smiled then, mentally agreeing with her as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder, kissing the top of her head.

"I know." He said, bringing his other hand up to his face to rub the sleep out of his eyes. "I'm sorry." He offered, forgetting about the alarm, wishing he had set the one on his watch or at least his phone. Just because he had to wake up didn't mean she had to.

"It's ok. Let's just pretend it never went off in the first place and go back to sleep." She said with her eyes still closed, half smiling. "You can play hooky for a day. Can't you?"

He felt the guilt then, wishing he could say yes, but knowing he had to face the truth now. As great as it felt for Anna to be here with him, he had to start accepting the fact that his life was going to get even more difficult as he was prepped for surgery.

"Not exactly." He responded. "I...it's not work." He sighed. "I have an appointment with my neurologist today."

He felt her turn in his arms, her eyes focusing up to face him.

"An appointment?"

He nodded.

"You didn't say anything yesterday…."

"To be honest I…forgot…at least I wanted to forget." He corrected. "It was Christmas…" He shrugged, hoping he could make her understand that feeling normal was a rarity for him these days. "I didn't want you to worry…and I know we agreed to be honest with each other but I guess it was, well *me* who didn't want to worry about today."

"Are you?" She asked, bringing her fingers up to curve around his jaw. "Nervous?"

"A little." He admitted, taking her hand in his. "But I guess we really can't pretend anymore can we? This is real now."

"It's been real this whole time." She nodded. "We've just tried to not to face it for the past two days."

"Saying it and…actually doing it…" He breathed, closing his eyes in frustration. "Are two different things, I'm beginning to realize."

"Are you having second thoughts?" She asked, feeling the small flutter in her stomach.

"No." He shook his head quickly, not wanting her to get the wrong idea. "I know this is what I have to do. I've known that since my diagnose…it's…it's just been easier to pretend this whole time that I was in control of my…life or death or…whatever. But I don't. I finally have to face this. After four months…I thought I would be ok with it but…"

"Hey…" She crooned, sitting up now so she could look at him. "You were the one that warned me this wouldn't be easy." She smiled sadly. "And it's not suppose to be David. What you're feeling right now…anger, nervousness, frightened…those are all the feelings you've been trying to ignore." She brushed the lock of hair from his face that always seemed to cover his forehead. "It's ok. To let those things in. To feel them now. I'm not going to let you go through them alone." She tugged at his shirt lightly. "Starting with today."

He watched as she pulled the covers from over them, letting the heat out of the bed.

"C'mon Hayward." She eyed him, the sparkle back in her eyes. "Before I beat you to the shower."

She was already at the bathroom door before he managed to get out of bed, a small smile on his face as he went to join her.

_Pine Valley Memorial Hospital_

_9:15 AM_

He flipped through the pages of the magazine, trying to read an article from it but after three times, he could barely remember what he had even read about. After forty-five minutes in the waiting room he felt the silence as they say next to each other, Anna with her own magazine tucked in her lap.

David could feel the tension between them, not in an angry way, but in a nervous way, a way in which it fed off each other as they waited for what was to be a difficult process of where the doctor would want to go with his treatment plan.

"It's not too late you know." He whispered in her ear as they sat, noticing she had just checked her watched for the sixteenth time in the last ten minutes. "To back out…"

"You're not getting rid of me." She said without looking up from the magazine. "We've already been over this." She finally looked up. "I just don't know what's taking him so long."

"I don't know either." He exhaled, getting up from the chair, his back stiff from sitting so long. "It could be anything…maybe he's in emergency surgery." David shrugged.

"When was your last appointment with him?" She questioned, shutting her own magazine as she watched him pace the room.

"Uhh…about three weeks ago?" He thought, walking the room, hoping it would calm his nerves.

"And there…there had been no change?" She asked, wishing she could ignore the curiosity that was building in her mind, keeping it racing to possible scenarios.

He stopped, his eyes forcing themselves to look at her.

"Actually…there was some growth." He said as he placed his hands in his pockets, peaking down to his shoes. "He's probably going to want another scan…to see where the tumor is now."

She nodded, trying to ignore the goosebumps as she fought the word _growth_ in her mind. She didn't want to focus on the fact that his illness could get worse with the added strain of a mass that was getting larger with each passing week.

"Dr Hayward."

Anna felt herself jump a little as the nurse peaked her head around the door to the exam rooms.

"Dr. Campbell is ready to see you now."

He nodded as the same nurse opened the door the rest of the way for them before walking back to his seat for his coat. Once he tucked the coat around his arm he gazed at Anna.

He watched as she took a breath, getting up from her own seat as well. Finally she met her gaze with his.

"Ready?" He asked, feeling the worry he saw on her face in that moment.

"Ready." She nodded, a bit more confident now as she took his hand in hers for support.

They were both led into an exam room to wait for the doctor. For David, there was always an uneasy feeling with being at the other end of the spectrum, trying to ignore the fact that he wasn't the doctor in this situation but the patient.

This time it was Anna that paced the room once they were inside, making him realize that she was much more apprehensive about this then he had first thought. He knew she was trying to be strong for him but he didn't want to ignore what her past meant in situations like these. She had already lost her husband, and was still coping with the fact her daughter was HIV positive. This couldn't be easy to come face to face with the ideas of illness and death creeping back into her life once more.

"Hey." He motioned for her to come closer as he sat on the exam table. "C'mere."

He waited until she was directly in front of him, taking bother of her hands in his own. "You're making me dizzy." He smiled.

She laughed a little, realizing she wasn't helping.

"Everything is going to work out the way it's suppose to." He reassured, keeping her hands locked with his own.

As if on cue the door opened and their attention was both drawn to the person they had come to see.

"Ben." David said, releasing her hands and sliding off the table to shake his hand.

"David." The doctor smiled, tucking David's chart under his arm so he could return the handshake. "Good to see you, and sorry to keep you waiting…with all the snow on the roads there's been several accidents this morning." He shook his head. "Just got out of surgery…"

"Yeah I…remember those days." David said back as Ben reached for Anna's hand. "This is…well…my…."

"His wife." She finished, eyeing David's relieved smile as she said the words. "Anna. It's nice to meet you Dr. Campbell."

"Ben." He corrected her, smiling as he pulled his hand away to review David's chart. "So David, how has it been since I've last seen you? Still getting the dizzy spells?" He asked, taking a seat on the stool on the opposite side of the room as David sat back down, Anna in a chair next to him.

"Yeah, unfortunately." David nodded, watching Ben write in his chart. "The headaches are still a problem, usually at the start of the day."

"How often? Everyday? Every other day?"

"Everyday. Sometimes more than once a day." He winced inwardly at Anna's reaction, knowing he couldn't lie but desperately wanting her not to know.

"And the seizures?" Ben kept asking. "Have you had anymore since the last time?"

"No." David shook his head, relieved. "Since the seizure and blood pressure medication, they've all but gone away. I'm still feeling the numbness though…that hasn't changed."

"Ok." Ben nodded as he kept writing, turning another page. "You are taking the meds?"

"On time everyday."

"Good." He took a few moments to finish his notes before getting up from the stool. "I know you're use to this by now but I want to check your reaction and response rate along with your reflexes."

Anna sat back and watched as Ben made David take off not only his shoes but then his socks before touching his finger to his nose then to his fingers She watched as David pushed Ben's wrists towards him and then back, and through the barrage of other tests Ben had David do. For the most part he could do them without any problem, but there were a few, especially with David's depth perception, David could not do, and she could see the frustration in his face as he realized he was missing these basic tasks.

"Still no change." Ben wrote in his chart after he was done with the exam. "At least since the last time. " He sighed. "David I'm going to have to order up another CT scan as well as the blood work. I want to see if this thing has grown in the last few weeks."

David nodded, pulling one sock up over his foot.

"I'm assuming you haven't changed your mind about the procedure?" Ben asked as an after thought while he wrote the request for the scan.

"Actually…" He let out a small smile. "I've reconsidered the procedure. I know I've wasted a lot of time but…I've decided to go through with it. If Doctor Evans is still available…?"

"Well I'm not sure of he's still in the country but…it's worth finding out." Ben smiled, surprisingly, shaking David's hand again. "David…? You've been adamant for months with doing this your own way. What? What changed your mind?"

David turned towards Anna.

"Let's just say I had the sense finally knocked into me." He smiled.

"Well I don't have to warm you about the risks." Ben replied. "Dr. Evan's will fill you in on everything once you fill out the necessary paperwork. I'll call him just as soon as I get you down for your scan."

"How long do you think I have until the surgery?"

"It could be days, could be weeks." Ben shrugged. "The important thing is that you're going to try and beat this thing." He smiled again, relieved this time that David was making the decision to fight. "I'll know as soon as I talk to Greg, and I'll call as soon as we can set something up." He flipped the chart closed. "A nurse will be back in here in a minute to take your blood work."

With that Ben shut the door, leaving Anna and David alone in the room.

"Did you see the look on his face?" David chuckled, finally done putting on his shoes.

"I think you underestimate how stubborn you are." She smiled back.

"I wouldn't want me as a patient." He agreed.

"Another CAT scan huh?"

He looked at her apologetically.

"It probably wasn't very easy…" He slid off the table again. "To listen to all my symptoms but…they really aren't that bad. Besides the seizures I could deal with it. And the scans…"

"Is the tumor that obvious?"

"It's fairly big yeah." He sighed, looking down, trying not to think about the surgery and just how much Dr. Evan's would have to cut out.

He tried to hide the look but Anna saw it, the realization in his eyes, the worry in his face that they wouldn't be able to get the entire tumor...at least enough to save his life.

"Listen…" She stood now, getting an idea. "Can I meet you after your scan?"

"You bailing on me now Devane?" He teased.

"Hardly." She smiled, kissing him before putting on her coat. "There's just something I forgot to do before. Is it ok if I leave you here?"

"Yeah I'll be fine." He nodded, wondering what she needed to do now. "How about I call you when I'm done?"

"Perfect." She smiled before opening the door. "I'll see you in a few."

David watched as she shut the door behind her, silently wondering what had made her leave so abruptly and just exactly what she was up to.


	12. Chapter 12

_Chapter 12_

_Pine Valley Memorial Hospital_

_Some time later_

He winced, ripping the band aid off of his forearm from the needle that had punctured him for the blood work Ben had ordered. He couldn't remember the last time in his life he had been stuck with a needle so many times.

::At least I'm not testing any of my own drugs on myself anymore.:: He thought, rolling his eyes at his own stupidity.

David made his way down to the lobby, glad that this morning was finally over. He actually almost wished that Jake still had a restraining order on him if it meant he didn't have to keep coming back for regular check ups. When he reached the front desk he half expected to meet Anna, since they had come in this same way. Puzzled, he reached for his cell phone. On the second ring she finally answered.

"Where are you?"

"Wondering where you are." He countered, turning around in a circular fashion as if expecting to see her walk down from one of the many hallways. "I thought you would be in the lobby by the parking garage."

"You thought wrong." She smiled. "Go up to the ninth floor and ask the desk what room I'm in."

"The ninth floor?" He half exclaimed. "What happened?"

"Nothing." She reassured. "Just meet me up there."

He was about to ask her if she was ok but Anna didn't give him the chance. He heard the click of her phone a second later and shoved the device back in his pocket as he made his way towards the elevators.

::Ninth floor.:: He thought, trying to figure out what this was all about. ::What's on the ninth floo…:: He looked up. ::Obstetrician's offices….Oh god the baby…::

A feeling he had never experienced until that moment gripped him, and for the first time he truly knew what it meant to be absolutely panicked. The thought of something being wrong with his child terrified him, making his muscles lock in place as he watched the numbers up at the top of the elevator car change from floor to floor. It couldn't move fast enough.

::Just take it easy.:: He thought, taking a deep breath. ::She didn't sound like anything was wrong.:: He reminded himself.

Finally the doors opened and he half ran to the front desk.

"My wife…" He breathed, trying to get out what he wanted to say. "What room? Devane? Anna?"

The nurse took a minute to look at the computer screen in front of her before turning back to face up to him.

"Room 913."

David nodded, making his way down the hall, not bothering to knock on the door before entering it, hoping Anna hadn't gone into early labor. It was too soon. She smiled from her place on the exam table at his presence, her hand outstretched towards him as he walked in.

"You made it."

David eyed her before taking a minute to survey the room, to the way she was sitting, Indian style in front of an ultrasound monitor as a technician was just starting to apply jelly to her exposed stomach.

"Are…" He took another breath. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine. *We're* fine." She smiled back. "I just figured since I was here I would see if Doctor Clader had an opening while you were finishing up back there."

"So…so everything's fine?" He asked surprised, bringing a hand to his chest in the hopes it would calm down his heart rate. "Just a check up? Nothing's wrong?"

"No, nothing. I just figured after all the drama from this morning it would be good if, you know…you got to see our baby." She tilted her head sympathetically. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you."

He took one last deep breath in relief, smiling now as he moved to take the hand she was still holding out to him.

"I don't know what I would have done." He breathed, leaning down to kiss her, his other hand along her forehead. "If anything had happened to either of you."

"Are the two of you ready to see your baby now?" The ultrasound technician smiled, interrupting them as she grabed the wand from its holder.

"Yes." Anna replied after a few seconds, feeling David sit next to her on the stool by the exam table, his hand still in hers as they focused on the monitor in front of them.

They waited, as the technician, Susan, went back and forth between the wand in her hand, and the keyboard in front of her, trying to focus in on the baby's position. Once she was satisfied with her work, she stopped moving the instrument, giving the couple a still picture of their baby.

David sat mesmerized then, not able to take his eyes off the monitor, the experience only heightened as the technician turned up the sound on the machine, revealing the baby's rapid heartbeat. He could feel Anna squeeze his hand, equally taken aback by the view.

"Right there…" Susan finally said, showing them another view. "That's the baby's head, it's hands. The positioning looks really good, too."

"The hands …they're so tiny." Anna replied, her smile growing even wider. "Does….does everything look alright?"

They waited as Susan continued the exam, moving the wand again to view the rest of the baby's profile. Finally she turned back towards Anna and David.

"Everything looks good. The heartbeat is exactly where it should be, and your baby's weight is normal for this stage of your pregnancy."

David finally swallowed the rest of the lump in his throat, an excited grin on his lips at the fact their child was developing properly.

"Do you want to know the sex?" Susan asked, smiling., as this was her favorite part. She watched, as the couple turned to look at each other, laughing.

"I think we might already know." David told Susan, wondering if Anna's assumptions about it being a girl were true. He turned back towards her. "Want to find out for sure?"

He watched as she nodded before they turned back towards the screen in anticipation. Susan slid the wand across Anna's abdomen, before focusing the picture again.

"Say hello to your baby girl."

::A girl.:: He thought proudly. ::I'm having a daughter.::

"Look…she's making a fist." Anna pointed, her happiness overflowing with love for their child, thankful that David had been her to experience this with her.

"She is." David laughed, leaning in closer for a better look. "It sort of look's like she's sucking her thumb."

"Oh she is." Anna beamed, letting out another laugh. "She's sucking her thumb."

"She's perfect in there."

"She's beautiful."

"She is."

"Well, it looks like I'm done here." Susan smiled, wiping off the wand in her hand, before handing Anna some paper towels. "I'll leave you two alone to admire your little one." She added, keeping the picture on the screen. "Take as much time as you want."

"Thank you." Anna said, wiping the jelly off of her stomach as David waved Susan off.

He turned back towards the still of the baby on the monitor, not able to get enough of the image in front of them.

"I…I can't believe it." He finally was able to stammer out, pointing up at the screen. "That's our baby. We created a human being Anna."

She smiled at him, his eyes still on screen.

"It changes your whole outlook on the world doesn't it?" she linked her fingers around his hand. "Knowing you're apart of something so perfect and so precious…"

"It does." He agreed. "I just…I can't believe I was going to give up on her." He shook his head, ashamed of himself now. "How could I not want to fight for her? Not want to live for her and watch her grow?"

"She knows David. She knows how much you love her and want to be apart of her life." She assured.

"I still…still can't believe it." He smiled up at her this time. "That it's a girl. Our daughter."

"You're not disappointed?" She tilted her head. "That it's not a boy?"

"Are you kidding me?" He exclaimed. "I have never been happier than I am right now." He told her, bringing her hand up to his lips to kiss gently. "And this is by far the best thing we've ever made together." He watched her nod her head in agreement. "And to be honest with you, deep down…I wanted a girl."

"You did not." She smiled slyly. "Almost every new father wants a boy. To carry on the family name and legacy and all that…"

"Well maybe but I would like to hope that this child doesn't carry on the family name and especially the family legacy." He heard her laugh. "I mean it Anna. I like the idea of having a girl, maybe with your eyes and that same smile." He watched her blush. "Dance recitals and school plays…dolls and teddy bears…"

"Why do I get the feeling this little one is going to have you wrapped around her little finger?"

"Probably because it's true." He murmured, getting up from his place on the stool. He leaned in and kissed her. "Are *you* happy?" He asked, already knowing the answer.

"I'm happy you're here with me." She answered honestly, kissing him back.

"Me too." He placed a palm to her stomach. "This morning…well it hasn't been the best and it's never easy to forget about everything but this…" He motioned back to the picture of the baby. "Let me forget for awhile. Let me enjoy something that's bigger than myself for awhile. It was a perfect surprise." He smiled. "So thank you."


End file.
